The Doctor is Out
Today was the day that Dr. William Montgomery had dreaded for the last several years.
No, correct that — today was the day that Mr. William Montgomery had dreaded for the last several years. As he sat in the Hospital Administrator’s office, he knew he had been found out. It wouldn’t be long until he was fired for being a fraud.
Montgomery was not a bad or evil person. In fact, he really cared about helping others. He just was not medical school material. It was three years ago that he decided to take control of his own medical future with a forged transcript from California University of Science and Medicine and glowing performance reviews from his imaginary residency at a world-renowned hospital in the Midwest.
The Administrator was visibly outraged and had few words except to let Montgomery know he would be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. As Mr. Montgomery listened with a sinking heart, the Administrator made a call to security requesting that a guard come to escort Montgomery off the property.
When the call was concluded, the Administrator walked the contrite imposter to the hallway to await his escort off the premises. In an awful coincidence, a police officer was passing by the office at that exact moment. The Administrator hailed him, and excitedly poured out the story, demanding that the officer arrest Montgomery on the spot.
The officer looked reluctant but took custody of Montgomery by placing him in handcuffs and escorted him down the long hallway of the administrative wing of the hospital. The Administrator watched them, smirking triumphantly.
At the T-intersection at the end of the hallway, the officer stopped and seemed unsure of what to do next. He looked at Montgomery with a look of mounting despair. Even though he was a fraud, kind-hearted Montgomery was still concerned about his fellow man and asked,
are you okay, officer?
The officer, who was perspiring and visibly upset, looked at the floor, avoiding eye contact with Montgomery. He took a deep breath, and mumbled,
I’m not really a police officer.
Montgomery was confused by the statement and asked the officer to repeat himself. The officer said,
I dress up as a cop because the cafeteria gives law enforcement free lunch every day. Please don’t report me!
The fake officer and the fake doctor stared at each other for a moment and knew what they had to do without any further words being spoken.
Montgomery slowly held his hands out and, just as slowly, the officer unlocked the cuffs.
In his 22 years in the medical profession, this was the worst day the Administrator could ever remember. He was sure he would lose his job for employing a fake doctor. His only consolation at the moment was that he had uncovered the fraud and had turned Montgomery over to the proper authorities.
As he tried to take some solace in those facts, he looked down to the end the long hallway and stared in disbelief as the fraud held out his hands and the officer uncuffed him. They both glanced down the hallway at the Administrator.
They nodded at him in unison, then the fake doctor turned left, and the fake police officer turned right, and went on their own merry — and separate — ways.
