✅Tarot Cards and “Nightmare Alley”: A Film that Changed My Life
✅Confessions of a Mentalist
> Doc “Hanged Man” Nirvana, SAMURAI SAM>
I have a confession, for I don’t believe in god. However I truly believe in the all mighty power of magic.
One of my favorite directors remains Guillermo del Toros. To me, his best film was Nightmare Alley (2021), a remake of the 1947 film, which was based on the book (1946) by William Lindsey Gresham.
This film changed my life. Why? Because it uncovered something about myself that I had hidden, for I had forgotten who I once was.
My entire life was about growing and becoming a better person, for I spent that life teaching and helping others. I am now retired.
The film is about the art of coding that magicians such a Harry Houdini (1874- 1926) mastered, for they pretend to read minds and know about the lives of people that they never met with this technique.
Instead, they have obtained information about the person before hand and pretend they know. Houdini never believed that anyone could actually see ghosts, talk to the dead, or predict the future.
✅Magic Remains an illusion
However, Houdini was himself trained by a master magician who taught him about coding. Therefore, Houdini could pretend to do such magical things like being mystical by floating or reading minds.
Shamans often use tarot cards or talk in voices about the past or predict the future. Walking on water was no big thing. Jesus was thought to be a Shaman in Asia.
Magicians enter into the personal psychic cosmology of a person as a way to attach to the alchemical mandala of a sucker’s consciousness.
What is the code? Hidden research or questioning someone to learn how to decode a situation can deceptively fool people. Audience members do not know or recognize the technique.
The performer pretends to know about a person’s life. Shamans as performers often go into voices of past memories or even past lives.
Nightmare Alley, the remake, is about a romance between two con artists who became lovers, but one would become the greatest grifter of all, working for the circus and later for more monies.
Finally, he is able to make a lot of money and learns the art of coding or fake mind reading from his love, another grifter.
Tarots cards become the connecting symbol of psychic powers and mind reading in the film. Personally, I have a huge collection of tarot cards.
I have tried to write about my life. However, I don’t know how because I have done things I am not proud of, I have done things that I have hidden from family members, and I have memories that haunt me.
In that film, I found my mirror, because I once knew a woman who did worst things than I ever did. We shared our past evils acts with each other, each not judging each other, and each becoming obsessed with the other.
I never met anyone as smart as she was. Indeed, she remained my mirror, for we helped each other heal, and so wanted to become lovers, but we both had our own lives with others.
In our lives, we had both traveled the world searching for the mystic others, and for each other. Indeed, I had searched for such a woman all my life.
Finally, when I found the woman of my dream, we became attached and obsessed with each other, but later we feared each other and ran away from each other. She was Latin American.
Because we knew the inner demonic personas possessed within each other’s spirits. We were never lovers or even kissed, but we dreamed of each other and messaged each other all day. I am still haunted by her.
Finally, I learned who she really was, and she knew who I really am, for we tore each other’s masks off. Our lives were every similar in a multitude of ways. However, the worst parallel was how evil we once were or perhaps are still. Who ever changes?
Lovingly, she became my greatest teacher, and I was her greatest mentor, for we knew things about each other that no one else knows since we had experienced things that no one else had.
However, in the end, we betrayed each other in terrible ways because we could not trust each other, for we knew what the other was capable of in life.
✅So why did the movie change my life?
To me, the real narrative in the movie becomes about the betrayal between lovers , for things are not what they seem. I have seen the two different movie many times and read the books. However, I think many people don’t see what I see.
I have never told anyone what my good friend really did to men, and she has not told anyone what I have done to women, but we both know. We promised not to tell.
We broke off from each other again and again. In the end, we so hated each other and feared each other.
While she practices witchcraft, I have visions and tales that others do not. Basically, we became each other, by merging into one being. However, in the end, after brainwashing each other and loving the other, we finally feared each other too and ran away from each other.
She is a psychopath, drug users, and lost soul. When I watched the film, I realized I was too. I have given up drugs and no longer do cruel things to people, but I have a lot of guilt and suffer from PTSD.
✅Conclusion of a Delusion
Here in Medium, I have tried again and again to tell my life stories honestly because when I have confessed to some of my friends about certain life stories, and they told me I need to share these tales.
However, I keep trying and struggling. This is another effort, but it has failed. Drafts of drafts of drafts are being written.
Finally, I miss her, the greatest love of my life, the only love of my life, and the final love of my life. I give up my addiction to sucking her life energies, and live alone.
Once I accidentally bumped into her. We pretended not to notice each other. We were slow to move away from each other, for the fatal attraction remains.
Watch this film about two lovers or mentalists whose relationship ends in darkest regions of their lustful obsessions or nightmares. It mirrors the story of my own life on nightmare alley!
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✅“Nightmare Alley,” (2021) Forward by Guillermo del Toro by Gina McIntyre
Read this book about the making of the film if you also like the movies. It was well written.
My book about my obsession with her call Shadow Manifesto is coming. I am drafting it daily. So far, I have 250 pages written, but much of it is poorly constructed, makes no sense, and needs a lot of revision.
✅Read and Watch the Various Versions: I Have!
Nightmare Alley (1946), novel by William Lindsey Gresham.”
Nightmare Alley (1947), original film with Tyrone Powers.
Nightmare Alley (2009), Spain Rodriguez, Graphic Novel, in Spanish.
Nightmare Alley (2021), film remake by Guillermo del Toros.
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I found a Colombian woman who had been initiated into Ayahuasca or Yage! She was like a guru, for she taught me many things I never understood.
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