Let’s Upgrade “The Golden Rule”
You have likely heard the golden rule before. We may have seen the phrase “Treat others as you would like to be treated.” on an inspirational quote or in some Instagram posts. For example, if you want people to hear you, then you should hear them too. The golden rule is often seen as a principle on how people should behave towards each other.
This principle might be our first guide to the concept of empathy. But, if we take a look at our workplace nowadays, the golden rule principle may not be the best option. Although it can help you to put yourself in other’s shoes, with different backgrounds, cultures, genders, preferences, etc. we cannot jump to conclusions that others want to be treated the same way you want to be treated. If we continue to apply the golden rule, this can lead us to make our own assumptions about others from our perspective only.
If we rely too heavily on our perspectives, the diversity of viewpoints around us might be blurred out. You might see another conflict between our perspective and others’ perspective, but we can adjust our viewpoints by taking a step back and ask yourself “how would you feel if someone treat you that way?” or to do this more effectively, you can ask them directly how you should treat them.
In certain situations such as conflicting with other principles, the use of the golden rule can lead us to unpleasant consequences. This kind of outcomes conducts to “the platinum rule”. The platinum rule is how we should treat others the way they themself wish to be treated. It looks like a small change, but it has a huge impact.
As we can see, focusing too much on our perspective can mislead us. To avoid misleading and implementing “the platinum rule” we can simply ask others about their preference. What to keep in mind is not everyone has the courage to ask others about their preferences, so we can tell them our preferences instead.
Both of the rules have been criticized for not fitting enough in society. Some people said that “the golden rule” can lead you to your own assumption about others and some others said that “the platinum rule” also can lead you to act toward someone in a way that contradicts your value. It seems impossible to find the perfect rule. The issue between the rules can be dealt with in an agreeable manner by viewing each principle as one of several principles that people use to guide their behavior in society. That’s why we still need an agreement that can work well for both of you.
The golden rule and the platinum rule is not an absolute rule that people have to follow. There are situations in which people can choose and adjust which rule is the perfect rule for the situation. The more you can accommodate people’s preferences, the better the solution will be.
The next time you face a situation where you need to use this rule, you can consider using “the golden rule” or “the platinum rule”. Remember that not everyone agrees with what we think is good.
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References:
https://hbr.org/2022/08/its-time-to-stop-following-the-golden-rule
https://effectiviology.com/golden-rule/
https://eqdevgroup.com/why-we-need-to-stop-with-the-golden-rule/
