Can I Be More Like Mr. Rogers?

I recently watched the Fred Rogers documentary, “Won’t You Be My Neighbor?”. Not a story line I would normally choose since I have never watched his show and honestly knew little about the man except that the Eddie Murphy SNL parody is pretty funny. But my darling wife, picked the movie and while I am not a film critic or even someone who watches a lot of movies, I will get the review out of the way by saying I thought it was a touching and entertaining documentary everyone should watch.

But even though I had never seen the show, I knew “Mr. Rogers” was ingrained in our culture. Every American from the age of 25 to 75 knew the premise of his show. We knew the changing of the shoes, the sweater, and the trips to the “Land of Make Believe”. We knew the mild mannered, soft spoken style of the host. He was an icon of our times and that only happens if someone is watching.

But the thrust of this piece is not about the documentary or the iconic PBS show, it is about a self reflection that I did because I watched the movie. Like many great documentaries, you walked away from the movie thinking we got to know the subject. We understood him through his own words and the people that worked and lived with him for decades. The universal take away from this documentary was that Fred Rogers was a loved man, who only tried to show others they were loved, and had a deep impact on millions of people. He was Mother Theresa with a sweater and some puppets.

With this as a model of feeling good about doing good, the documentary forced me to hold up a mirror and take a deeper look. I think it is safe to say that on first inspection there is little that would connect Fred Rogers and me. He was a skinny man that weighed 143 lbs. every day of his life and I tip the scales at closer to 250 lbs. He is quiet and paced in his communication and it is safe to say that I am the opposite of that!

But what I wanted to really focus on was what he did with his life. His demeanor and approach allowed him to have deep, connective engagements with people. His ability to focus on making sure everyone felt connected and loved was inspiring. He made his communication with children personal and poignant, covering topics like racism, death, and immigration. He was direct and unfettered without being crude or vulgar. All of this allowed him to create an art form that didn’t exist. More importantly, it allowed generations of children to feel like they had a friend that wanted to listen and understood them.

While I think I have freely given of my time over the years to people and causes, I left the documentary thinking there was more I could do. There was more I could do with my attention and patience with individuals. I could be a better listener. I could be a better friend and human. Being a patient, thoughtful human to your fellow world citizens may the best goal anyone could hope to strive for. While I may never reach “Mr. Rogers” levels of love for my fellow human, I surely can do better than I have.

If you watch “Won’t You Be My Neighbor?” for no other reason than to connect with yourself and understand how you can be a better human than it is time well spent.