#1

Song of the day: Time to Pretend by MGMT

There’s no better time than the present so here i am.

Well a big part of today is being broken. And although i like saying that i’m broken, a few smudges or wrinkles or tears or even rips or holes don’t immediately mean you’re broken.

Anyway, today’s broken isn’t emotional, it’s physical. Long story short- yesterday i rode my bike down a hill, and to avoid snow and ice (although last time i rode down that very same hill, everything was covered in snow; maybe that’s the reason- i had a choice) i went beside it, but there was a large hole and for some reason i hadn’t decided beforehand which way i would go around it and then it was too late and i hit the hole head-on.

I’m actually ok, i’m alive. My first tire landed just before the further edge of the hole and i flipped over. I ended up on laying down on my back with one leg up a tree’s trunk, so that was nice. R (more on him later) said i landed on my head and then let go of my bike. Fortunately i didn’t black out, no bones were broken and i biked home myself. Unfortunately we didn’t get it on video.

+also, most peculiar thing, i haven’t worn a helmet biking since like 10 years old but totally coincidentally R brought me one yesterday and then i went and fell and i don’t want to think what would have happened if he hadn’t.

That brings us to today. My legs, hand, knee and back are scraped up and hurt and it hurts to walk.

But oh, was it nice. I really want to go again (biking down hills in the forest, bumps, jumps, mtb) and it’s not like i have anything to fear now.

Uhhh… the weekend was nice, i spent the three days with V and R.

Who are and how i met V and R:

So i switched schools in January this year. And on the 1st of February, when we were coming back from school, the school bus broke down. There were three people (+me) still on the bus from my class, two girls -one of them who i got and still get along really great and one who i just get along with- and a boy -R-. So we waited for awhile and then i was like -why don’t we just go home? Walk/by bus- so R was like -yeah we should do that, it won’t take long- and we talked some more but then R was like ok let’s go i’m going who’s coming with me and i was looking at the girls saying -one of you c’mon please come with me- because i didn’t know R at all yet and one of his friends was coming too so i was sure it would be awkward and they would speak to and be with each other so i would be alone. But then R was looking at me and i understood that the girls won’t come and i went with him.
 So we had walked for a few minutes (we were the first to get off) and then we saw other little groups get off the bus one by one. Right after us (though a couple minutes later) came a boy-V-, who R (later on i would find out only kind of) knew. So *i* decided to wait for him. So there we were walking, the four of us, i really don’t remember anything about the fourth boy… literally nothing, i don’t have any idea who he was, maybe i even know him now, and we were talking and laughing (we all matched really well although V is only 11 and we were 14 (also wow it’s R’s birthday overmorrow). R’s shoes came undone so he started to tie them …at the same time came our bus that comes only once in 40 minutes… i could’ve ran on it but i think the fact i didn’t is a really big factor in our relationship; i’m glad i didn’t. We ended up going to the store and then walking home for a little over an hour. It was the first time we talked.

So the conclusion is that these boys will be the death of me… but am i bored though?

Oh and also it was my birthday on saturday! I turned 15. In the morning i went to the forest with V (R couldn’t come), i rode into a tree because my breaks were too loose (they didn’t break at all; i could ride with my brake all the way down) and there was snow and ice so i have a really big bruise on my hand that short sleeves don’t cover, it’s pretty ugly.

And then we went out to eat with my family in celebration in the Old Town. It was really nice and i really enjoyed it. It was between seven and eight at night and we had to visit before we found one we could eat at without a reservation. We talked and laughed and remembered old times and i when i went to whisper something to my dad over the table and over a candle i almost caught on fire. Fortunately my mom yelped at the right time, i pulled back and there was a burnt spot on my scarf and it was warm all over. Oof (oof is creepy, ugh is disgusted, ooh is excited) i don’t want to think about what would have happened if my mom had looked away or something.

I just want to say i’ve been in a much better place lately than i’ve been in a year and a half. The next ones will also be shorter, more sorted and straighter to the point, i’m only just learning! 
 And this is it for today, be back tomorrow!

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