Fantasy Pornography Doesn’t Have To Always Be Erotic
It shouldn’t always be about the genitals, sometimes we’d appreciate some mystery
Modern day mainstream pornography thrives on fantasy sex. Today’s porn stars are the heroes who try out the stunts we all know isn’t realistically applicable in a healthy and sane sexual adventure.
One of the centres that hold the pillars of mainstream pornography together are the genitals. The display of the genitals, are what get us hooked, and give us the sense of actually being involved in the process. Sometimes we go looking for some porn, just to see two or more people touch each other on the genitals. We forget about the emotional connection between the people, and glue our horny eyes on the sexual ammunition zoomed in on our faces.
Sometimes we don’t even want the genitals thrown right at our faces, we want to look when we want to, but we don’t want it filling up the screen and intruding on our ability to captivate other sensual moments. Yes, we love to see a ‘blow-job’ scene or a ‘cowgirl’ position, but we don’t need that much attention to detail for that long, a few passionate moments really does the trick sometimes.
Fantasy pornography has the potential to offer other kinds of fantasy, like the fantasy of reality, and its mystery when captured on camera.
Sex, real life sex, doesn’t just fall off the sky, it takes time and runs through a process called a relationship. Pornography today only wants you jerking off, the industry today want quick rewards, and what other way to get it than to have a bunch of people making decisions based off their vulnerability.
We get horny or excited and we just want a release, we crave an adrenaline rush, so we make split-second decisions that may have a longer lasting effect on our psyche, way after the euphoria of the orgasm.
Why isn’t porn that celebrates dating and the debacle of first-time sex popular? We all know a lot of us feel that way on the first day of sex with a new person, and we see many people who search for answers on how to bond with their partners, and explore compatibility, especially among young couples, newly weds, singles having their fun and singles entering into a new relationship.
Porn series today keep taking us further and further away from reality, with the idea that sex and sexual feelings have no continuity in a person’s life. It’s almost as if once the pornstar gets an orgasm, his/her whole mind gets washed away and a brand new naive human being erupts from the sheets on the next episode. It gets ridiculous sometimes, and you begin to wonder how far mainstream porn is willing to take these fantasies to, all to drive heavy traffic from us and get us lost in our heads, especially in our moments of compulsion.
The target audience of today’s pornography no longer caters for people who want to understand their sexuality and enjoy it visually, it has become a facade for everyone and anyone who just wants a quick ejaculation. There’s nothing wrong with a quick ejaculation, but the issue is that modern porn subtly reinforces the idea that a quick ejaculation is all there is to our sexuality. We are expected to enjoy porn only when we get heavily turned on, and to keep enduring the visual experience even when it clearly turns our sexuality and the rest of our emotions off.
How nice would a porn series or movie about the quirks and sexual awkwardness between a couple or a clique of friends be? Imagine being able to see your real life struggles and weird moments through the sexual lives of two adults in a healthy, not so perfect relationship on screen. Imagine watching porn and looking forward to the mysteries that encompass the sexuality of couples just like you.
Sometimes, a well scripted porn isn’t the one with all the ‘erotic effects and highlights’, it’s simply one where consenting adults are allowed to be themselves on camera and feel comfortable. We feel the things we see, we get connected to what we watch, therefore, consuming healthy porn that is centred on comfort and understanding would also bring comfort and clarity to its viewers.
Progressive and sober porn, not only brings you tranquility in sexuality, but it eliminates the whirlwind of arousal that may hinder you from feeling connected with self. Sober, feminist and realistic porn, is like the antidote that clears your system when you’ve overdosed on the ‘drugs’ of mainstream ‘harsh’ porn.
Porn today is like a drug, and the constant side-effects of a drug requires balance not only in the frequency of consumption, but in the nature of consumption.
If sex is kind, connecting and emotion-freeing, why then does watching it drive us compulsive? Why don’t we feel a sense of love-making when consuming porn? Why don’t we feel a sense of awareness? Why do we keep feeling glued to a never ending obscure human looking animation?
Thinking out loud, I slowly begin to see reasons why some sex scenes in movies and series leave us more sexually aware than most of the mainstream porn libraries combined.
A few days ago, I was watching an episode of an Amazon Prime series, Carnival Row, and I saw a really cool and magical sex scene between a fairy (played by Cara Delevingne) and a human (played by Orlando Bloom). If I’m being quite honest, I think it was a brilliant way to capture sex as something we all think we know, but at the same time possesses amazing mystery.
The extent to which pleasure could be positive, and how it can manifest with different kinds of people and their sexuality, is one of the mysteries that makes sex worth exploring.
During the old days of early 20th Century, when sexual liberalization was still being fought for, sex was ever thrilling because the idea of it was like a taboo, and its nature still seemed popularly unknown. But, this century of sexual freedom has shifted from novelty and brought with it more awareness and more intensity as a form of sexual thrill.
Even with sexual guilt still being a thing today, the boom of the pornography industry has created an environment where we can still explore regardless. But, with the dominated obscurity of modern porn, the true calling of sex as a means of awakening sensual emotions has become blurred. Porn content has removed the storytelling from sex, and replaced it with sexual athleticism. Porn sex is gradually becoming a competitive sport, and no longer a medium for love making and viewing.
A very unpopular reason why movies and series sometimes capture sex, sexuality and sensuality a lot better than actual porn, is that in their sex scenes, the focus is on the emotions, and the connection you feel for that brief moment watching it, sparks off some mystery in you and rids you of excess compulsiveness.
Movies are definitely not go to places for erotic sexual adventure, but sometimes they tend to offer more realistic sexual experience than mainstream porn. Porn today needs real people promoting valid experiences, and the idea of fantasy has to be expanded to connect with viewers looking to awaken their sensual self, and not loose themselves in the process.
Porn stars are real beautiful people, and viewers would love to see them be less athletic and more sexual sometimes. Sex on screen doesn’t have to loose all of its authenticity.
The positivity and values shown by progressive, feminist, sober and realistic porn movies have a place in mainstream porn and the culture behind real relationships on screen is key to truly endorsing human sexuality.
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