My Secret Affair with Procrastination 1
I am currently planning on launching my Podcast Network and trust me when I opine that this journey looks very delusional. It’s like the dream is in my head and the vision is shining like the head of a flashlight but the reality just seems to always find a way to come late for the wedding and drops the ring each time my motivation tries to place it in the finger.
I have a plan or rather a strategy, owk cut the crap, I just have a clue, even the clue needs a serious unveiling! But one thing is for sure, even with all the uncertainties, I just have this deep happy feeling that I will be having fun all through this road trip. I think it’s because I just genuinely adore and love content creation. I love all the work that goes into it, even though most times I’m always stuck in the idea of it and never really actualize those wild imaginations looool! I ‘ll just keep deceiving myself till I eventually give myself a reason to quit or make the signature all-star move, guess? Come on! don’t tell me you can’t guess this looool? Owk, the great sneaky move “Procrastination”.
Procrastination has got me hooked, sometimes I feel I need to head to a rehab centre! I even have a nickname for my closest buddy, I call him “Procastigator” and he calls me “Lazarus”. The funny fact is that, even if I had an appointment in the rehab centre, I’ll probably most likely still procastigate the date looool! I procrastinate so much that I suspend some words in my sentences, in my mind I’m like, “they’ll come in handy later!”
I’m currently in final year in my University and as usual in our finals we do a very demanding dreaded exercise called the Final Year Project. We are required to submit our progress to our Supervisors and then get put through all the difficulties we may be encountering.
Let me formally announce to you that, while my fellows (my padawans) were in their chapter 3, I was still in my chapter 1 and I had not even yet submitted that one for corrections, and guess the worst part, I had actually already finished, so what was really stopping me from submitting and making some damn progress?
There was a pre-chapter 1 that we were supposed to do prior to the official start of the project but guess what, I was trapped in that crazy box for weeks and even when I had finished my official chapter 1, I couldn’t submit it due to the fear of my demise in the pre-chapter work biting me in the butt (I wanted to put “Rectum” but it sounded very awkward so I just did what I do best, I procrastinated it loooool!)
I actually ended up wasting an extra full month (plus some extra weeks, because I also utilized the new-born babies of my Pal “Procastigator”). When I finally saw my supervisor whom I had been hiding from for ages, there was that awkward silence, with Procastigator laughing beneath the desk, begging me not to cast his involvement in the occurring and recurring tragedy.
I obviously was going to cast him, but for the mean time I really didn’t have any viable excuse, so I was brutally honest!
If you’re late to submit anything, most times, excuses are the fastest way to giving the rage of the superior official a very sexy orgasm! Sometimes it’s just very helpful to keep out and look very stupid, because you most likely made stupid decisions in your relationship with “El Stupido” that led to your lateness to your wedding with “El Late-Sinto”.
I simply confessed that I had no excuse, but you know one funny thing about humans, they don’t like lies, but they sure do love hearing it.
Most humans just want you to give them a reason, even if deep down you honestly can’t find a reason, they simply just prefer you rather feed them those lies in a “box of reasons” and then they act clueless, almost is if they don’t notice the lies on the teaspoon about to land on their pinky lippy runway.
Anyways, in the end, he went through my work and we were finally able to bond and then after making corrections (they were so many, I literally had to start the whole thing again, gosh loool!), he still kept on persisting that I feed him that reason, bitter or sweet, just lay it on me!
I immediately had no choice but to dig deep and begin searching and believe me, I searched everywhere, every organ, every abstract and could honestly not find an inch of that ingredient. My eyes began to scroll through my brain itself, searching through those magnetic forces and behold lay my Pal, the Enemy of Progress (EP) in my life “Procastigator” covering his face beneath the wooden desk and I had to snitch!
Forget about the stitches! sometimes you really do need stitches, you urgently need fixing! and speaking up might be your only means to redemption and that saving truth that will define everything including the unknown future!
Anyways, I took a deep breath, because I was fully aware of the utter stupidity that was about to pour through my airways,
You ever wonder why the real and most genuine truths from deep within, always sound so stupid when said out loud, but in your heart, have the deepest and most valuable abstract meanings?
I looked at him, and said in a breaking but a pretty much complete sentence, and a full “teaspoon of reason”,
Sir! It was just procrastination! I don’t even know how it happened, like I just kept on procrastinating till I got high on it, I really do think I got high on my own supply! (and I was busy laughing, he also had to break the inquisitive look and steal a few giggles from Humourville!)
Eventually, I was saved and he gave the prodigal son his last prodigal chance! I left his office in much more confidence and positivity, Procastigator still followed me back to my hall of residence, but this time, that night, for the first time in a while, I denied Procastigator his dinner privileges!
