Stop Looking For The Best In Others, Look For The Truth
Everyone has a facade, be a realist
You’re expecting the best from your friends, but some of them are just people looking for who to prop their self worth on. Not everyone is an idealist, and not every idealist is an idealist all the time.
Being a realist socially, and an idealist personally is a superpower. When you’re a realist, you’d be able to see people for who they are, not what you feel they should be. You’d stop setting standards for people, instead, you’ll be more observant of the standards they set for themselves.
Everybody is all a facade of themselves, and spotting this is key when trying to eliminate all the deception. The best in others isn’t in your ideal expectation of them, it’s embedded in your real investigation of their character.
Treat your family ideally, and teach your kids how to be ideal, but when you leave your house, cling to realism because idealism is pretty deficient. As an idealist you want things to be how you want them to be, but the world is much bigger than you are, and accepting your insignificance isn’t having a low self esteem, it’s being darn realistic.
Sadly, this life is a game and those at the top know this. To navigate this brutal world you have to play the game, it’s the only way to face the horrors of society.
Trust, isn’t only a bye-product of how people treat you, it’s a ripple effect of seeing people ideally. When you aren’t realistic with the people close to you, you’ll be forced to accord them a sense of trust that isn’t genuine, and they aren’t qualified for.
You fail to express yourself, and they in turn also fail to express themselves and this inevitably leads to a situation where you’re surrounded by so many fake people, who keep disrespecting your boundaries and apologizing.
When you’re idealistic, you keep observing pretense, but you don’t get to act on it unless you start being realistic. Knowing the situations and social circles to express yourself, and the ones to hide your nature is really crucial to your survival.
In an ideal world, there should be tolerance, but the world we live in is a suffocating one, it’s intoxicated with a ridiculous quest for dominance instead of understanding.
Empathy is what empowers us to look for the best in others. In the real world, people are simply the worst, and never act their best self unless there is a catch or an incentive. Realism in a world like this, would mean treating people according to how they treat you and behave, not how you think they deserve to be treated.
Sometimes you need to keep showing empathy to people who treat you poorly, not because they’re deserving, but as a result of the kind of person you are. You try not to loose yourself in a society where everyone’s sense of self is lost in the battle for dominance.
See the truth, and let others show you their best. Don’t make the mistake of seeing the worst of the people around you after they’ve won your trust.
The human nature is riddled with greed and malevolence. Developing the skills to detect this in everyone from your family to social circle would enable you navigate through all the pseudo-situations bound to happen. Their pretense would seem normal and their authenticity would feel special.
Cloudy judgement of others, contrary to what society tells us, is not a bad thing. A cloudy judgement indicates effort to see through the facade of human social behaviour.
It might remain cloudy for a long time, but it’ll help you keep an open mind for red flags, toxic narcissism and dissonant behaviour, you’d figure out a lot once you begin to question the attitude of everyone. People are like an unknown phenomenon. When wandering into the unknown you have to search for truth, and not get overwhelmed by your desire for the best, if not, you risk missing your way entirely.
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