Introducing: Artist Stock Market & DARKO MODE

Noah Weidner
Apr 1, 2019 · 2 min read

As an avid investor and proponent of FIRE (financial independence, retire early), I’ve been asking a question for a long time: how can we gamify the artist experience into a truly financialized and heartless experience? Well, I’m glad you asked.

Today, we are pushing out the Artist Stock Market. At the bottom of your page, you will see a ticker with a number of artists who have IAOed (that’s Initial Artist Offering). These artists now have stocks on the Artist Stock Market.

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Now, I know what you’re thinking — “How can I invest in my favourite artists?” Well, you can’t. Nor can you affect the price. The financial industry is completely responsible for swaying the prices of artists on our platform (just like how financial companies manipulate the price of stocks in real life!). To make this even more fun, we’ve allowed blockchain titans to come modernize our market system by decentralizing it (whatever the f*** that means).

The best part is: everyone’s stock is going up! Even if you can’t be involved in the (artificial and completely fictional) financial growth of the Artist Stock Market, you can at least admire the up arrows pointing to prosperity on the ticker. You might even discover a few new incredible artists that you’ve never heard of!

Oh yeah, and I know what you’re thinking — “this is radically unfair!” and “capitalism is a farce!” Well, to satiate the advanced level of anger from progressing into a class war (much like Marx warned us about), we’ve decided to tide over the masses by adding a much-wanted feature: dark mode. Or as we call it, DARKO MODE.

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To GO DARKO MODE, all you have to do is click on your username in the upper right corner of the screen. You’ll see an option to GO DARKO MODE. Upon selecting this, your page will reload to the majesty that is DARKO MODE.

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That said, we hope you enjoy our short update log. We’ll have more sweet features coming your way in the relative future. Including, but not limited to: discover, pitch, and a new side-product.

Thanks guys, team (Noah, Kian, and Noah)

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