bell hooks defines the dimensions of love as “care, commitment, trust, responsibility, respect, and knowledge”
I’ve been reflecting on love as a radical revolutionary act. Something you have agency on, something you choose and work on. Dismantling the layers that have been imposed on me by societal expectations around love is hard, I find myself often in a tug of war with patriarchal narratives, with expectations of myself and others that don’t match the truth.
No one is teaching me about love better than bell hooks, in her book All About Love (new visions) she creates a stunning portrayal of love as tender labour, as a resizing of all our relationships (romantic and not), she talks of love and community, friendship, family. To love is to question: What burdens and traumas do we carry? What are we willing to do with them? How can I build a loving relationship that is true to who I am?
“It is possible to speak with our heart directly. Most ancient cultures know this. We can actually converse with our heart as if it were a good friend. In modern life, we have become so busy with our daily affairs and thoughts that we have lost this essential art of taking time to converse with our heart.” bell hooks.
Our perception of love is shaped by the systems we inhabit, always has always will. But we can question it, we have that power. We can take time to talk to our hearts. To do so is a political act.
hooks talks of love with an embracing tenderness, she tells us love cannot coexist with abuse, of any kind, she teaches that love and justice are closer than we know. I cannot recommend this book enough, it is gentle and beautiful.
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Drops is a Waves column created by Virginia Vigliar, it showcases short reflections and knowledge sharing for you to water. If you need a quick break, want to be immersed in poeticism with purpose, then this is for you!
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