IF YOU’RE GOING TO INTERRUPT DINNER…

YOU’D BETTER HAVE SOMETHING GOOD TO SAY!

Imagine this.

It’s 1930, you and the family are about to sit down for dinner.

No Netflix. No TikTok. Not even Spotify.

Total peace and quiet…

But then, the doorbell shatters the silence. Lo and behold, it’s the door-to-door vacuum salesman. And if he’s going to stop you enjoying your meatloaf, he’d better have a really, really good pitch.

If that doesn’t sound familiar, then think back to the last time an episode of The Mandalorian or Germany’s Next Top Model was interrupted by an ad-break.

Yeah.

See, just like when that door opened 90 years ago, the minute our commercials come on screen, we need to give people a damned good reason why we’re keeping them away from the wonders of Grogu and Heidi Klum. And here’s the secret: It’s all in the writing.

First, you’ve got to know who you’re talking to.

What do they love, what do they hate, which football team do they support, what did they have for breakfast? Because the more you know them, the more you can tailor your writing to connect with them deeply. There’s a reason your best friend is funnier than Adam Sandler, because they’re only entertaining you, not 500 million people.

Then, you’ve got to keep it simple.

Don’t try and sell the circuit boards that power the motor which drives the discombobulator… just tell people that this vacuum is so powerful they can get their most hated chore done in half the time. The less you say, the more likely people are to remember it, so whittle away at what you want to say until there’s just the truest and most impactful nugget left. Because it’s that nugget that people can buy into.

Write like you speak.

In the same vein, some people go into infomercial sales mode the minute they think they’re selling something. Nobody wants to listen to an android, let alone give it money.

Write like you’re trying to convince your mum to buy it. Or your dad. Or your weird Uncle Ned. Because the more engaging and real you can make it, the more likely they are to actually hand you some notes.

And finally… be memorable. After all, if you’re not interesting, nothing else really matters.

Make your pitch funny, make it emotional, make it surprising. Make it something that you want to hear again, because after all, even if you don’t sell that vacuum (or 3000 sofas in our case) on the first try, if you’re entertaining enough then people might just remember you and buy it next time they think about cleaning the floor.

This point is especially relevant for TV, given that in the UK nearly 90% — NINETY-PERCENT — of advertising gets totally ignored.1 That’s a hell of a lot of media money going straight down the drain!

So in short, as we continue to make more and more, and better and better films at Wayfair; we’ll endeavor to not take ourselves too seriously. Instead, we’ll imagine that we’re walking up a flight of stairs in 1930 about to push a doorbell at dinnertime, and try to make sure our stories are worth the time everyone spends listening to them.

1 https://davetrott.co.uk/2008/04/why-do-we-assume-people-have-to-like-adverts/