Book Review: I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy

A subjective literary analysis of I’m Glad My Mom Died.

Overview

emotional,informative,reflective,sad

Pacing? Fast
Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

A heartbreaking and hilarious memoir by iCarly and Sam & Cat star Jennette McCurdy about her struggles as a former child actor — including eating disorders, addiction, and a complicated relationship with her overbearing mother — and how she retook control of her life.

Review (3.75 stars)

I think this book was extremely insightful and shined a unique lens on the acting industry, how cut-throat and unfair it can be, and how her abusive relationship with her mother is paralleled in a lot of ways with her abusive career.

It was interesting to follow along with Jennette as she carved a pathway to becoming famous. It made me feel like, with enough hard work and dedication, I can do anything — even though I realize that Jennette never wanted to act in the first place and was only doing what her mother wanted. I admire that she came from a place of poverty and hardship, and still managed to build a financially stable life for herself with friends who support her.

Although the testimonials for this book and the description claim the memoir is “hilarious,” I didn’t really find it funny. Maybe a little witty at times, in the Millennial “I wanna die” kind of joking way, but it almost felt forced.

Something I didn’t like about this memoir was it felt incomplete. Jennette is just starting her career as a writer and leaving her acting years behind. While I understand that this book was a great way to break into the industry, a lot of questions at the end of the “story” are left unanswered. (I’m using quotes for “story” because I do realize this is an autobiography.) Does she ever meet up with her biological father again? She meets him once, and then never again. How does she feel about her mother now? She touches on these things, but doesn’t really go into depth.

I think that, with more writing experience, and more time to heal and reflect, this memoir could have been extraordinary. And that’s not to say it isn’t good. In fact, I think this memoir was very good, and will live in my brain rent-free for the forseable future. Jennette provided something unlike anything I’ve ever read when it comes to being in the public eye and what it means to be a child actor. But compared to other equally interesting memoirs I’ve read, like Educated and The Glass Castle, it just didn’t hit the mark for me.

3.75 stars.

Character(s)

This book was definitely very character-focused. Every single person had their own unique thing. The mom was manipulative, Jennette was a people-pleaser, the Grandma was needy, and the Dad was absent and distant. The only people who didn’t have personalities in this story was Jennette’s siblings, and also her friendships came across as a little dry. I’m not sure if this was because she’s not allowed to say anything about them or not (Miranda and Ariana Grande, for example, came across as a bit meh).

Moral Argument

I think the moral argument of this memoir was to do things for yourself, not other people. To be true to yourself, honest with yourself, and make decisions that will benefit your own future, despite the crushing opinions of other people — including those people who are most important to you.

Story World

The story world of this memoir is actually very interesting. For 90% of the book, Jennette is with her mom, either at home or on the set. When she’s on set, her mom is often there with her. Jennette’s abusive relationship with her mother is mirrored in Nickelodeon’s studios.

Jennette talks about how her mother would give her inappropriate exams and shower her until she was 16 years old. She was always in Jennette’s space and micro-managed her every move. So did The Creator, her managers and agents, and the industry itself. They were always in her business, almost to an inappropriate level at times, like when she was having a panic attack and one of her managers tried to angrily bust into her dressing room.

Everything Jennette said or did, she had to worry about not only what her mom would think — but what the public would think, what her managers and co-stars would think. It was all very stressful for her, especially considering she never wanted any of it in the first place.

Symbolic Development

I think the biggest symbol here is, again, the relationship between Jennette and her mother, and how it relates to her career in acting. Another symbol would be her eating disorder, her OCD and her desire to purge every time she has anxiety. After Jennette’s mother’s death, she slowly heals from these things, not getting rid of them completely but learning how to manage them effectively.

Plot

I enjoyed the plot right up until the ending; after the mother’s death, things kind of tapered off, and the last couple of chapters didn’t wrap things up as nicely as I would have liked. It turned the whole book into more of a marketing ploy than an overall moral message. It was like Jennette was saying, “just wait, I’m going to write some awesome books,” which made the memoir feel very egocentric.

I guess you could argue that being egocentric was Jennette’s whole character development — learning how to disregard others opinions and do things for herself. And that’s awesome, but again, it didn’t resonate with me, considering how I was comparing it to other wonderful memoirs like Educated and The Glass Castle. Those memoirs made me feel things, made me take a second look at myself in the mirror. This memoir left me feeling a little distant.

Prose

Jennette’s prose is simple yet effective. She has moments where she is witty or clever, and she can really develop a character (except for her siblings). I wish the prose was a little bit more descriptive and in-depth.

Story Structure

Hero: Jennette McCurdy

Weaknesses: People-pleaser, pushover, hard on herself, self-bullying and self-punishing.

Psychological Need: She needs to make decisions that benefit her own future.

Moral Need: She needs to make meaningful connections that are not inspired by her mother.

Problem: She is forced to become an actor.

Desire: She wants to make her mom happy and keep her from dying from cancer.

Opponent: The Mom, Cancer, Nickelodeon.

Plan: She thinks if she does everything her mom wants her to do, she can make her mom happy and keep her from dying. (Interesting! You could also speculate that this is one of the origins of potential OCD behaviours, doing something irrational to deal with anxiety. If I make my mom happy, she won’t die from cancer = if I tap my feet 10 times in a row, I’ll pass this exam).

Battle: This one is hard to pinpoint. I think you could say that the battle is when Jennette’s caught with a boy by the papparazi and is confronted by her mother. You could also say it’s when she tries to overcome her eating disorder for the first time? I’m not sure on this one.

Psychological Self-Revelation: She realizes that she needs to focus on herself and worry less about others.

Moral Self-Revelation: She gets therapy for her eating disorder.

New Equilibrium and World Change: Her mom has passed away, she quits acting and starts a career as an author.

Notable Quotes

“I don’t like knowing people in the context of things. “Oh, that’s the person I work out with. That’s the person I’m in a book club with. That’s the person I did that show with.” Because once the context ends, so does the friendship”

“A pushover is a bad thing to be, but an opinionated pushover is a worse thing to be. A pushover is nice and goes along with it, whatever it is. An opinionated pushover acts nice and goes along with it, but while quietly brooding and resentful. I am an opinionated pushover.”

Content Warnings

Graphic: Eating disorder, Death of a parent, Sexual content