Three Benefits of Reading Bad Books

How Reading Trash Improves Your Romantic Life, Your Popularity, and Your Writing

I admit it—I love reading bad books.
If I can admit this, then you can finally reveal that you covet movies like The Room more than you do Memento. And it’s okay. Counterintuitively, coming out of the guilty-pleasure closet actually has some benefits.

1. How Bad Books Got Me an ‘A’ in English

My first bad book

On the first paper of my second-semester English class, I got a ‘C’.
I was devastated to find that I did not have a natural talent to ‘wow’ my professor just because I declared English as my major.

My first essays always lacked confidence. They came in either the academic drawl or the flowery drivel. But in order to recover my ego and tell this tale, the next essay had to kill it.

You might imagine the study montage: I slap down a pile of scholarly periodicals, put on reading glasses I don’t need, and dive into the world of academic research and writing. But I did far from it.

Instead, I pulled quotes from a yellowed trade paperback called Dear Teen-Ager, written by the Dear Abby of my grandparents’ time. The book contains a variety of features that are not fit for an academic paper:

1. It’s a book about dating. Abby answers concerns like “Should I let him kiss me on the first date?” or “My parents are so square it isn’t even funny.”
2. It’s outdated. Published in 1959, most of the advice doesn’t sit well with 21st century ears. You don’t need to know how to fox trot or to waltz to impress anyone (or maybe I’m getting my decades mixed up). And now girls are allowed to telephone a boy without turning him off.
3. It’s informal. The tone is conversational. Read this quote I picked at random:

“You’ll be missing out on an extra-good bet if you happen to be light on the good looks: a reputation as a really top-notch dancer is often enough in itself to send your P.Q. (Popularity Quota) zooming.”

Knowing all of these things (and noticing the opportunity in the essay), I took a chance and included one of these sensational quotes from Dear Teen-Ager, utilizing Abby’s words of wisdom as “support” and filling out an entire key point with her colorful thoughts.

The paper came back as an ‘A’. But even more definitive — the professor articulated in her comments that Dear Teen-Ager helped the essay pop. It gave the writing personality. And, having proven scholarly strength for the rest of the piece, Abby earned her right to live in that essay.

Abby proves that professors don’t always want to read the dry, the passive, and the scholarly for every aching, drawn-out sentence. Dear Teen-Ager is a bad book by academic standards, but we can make room to welcome her in secondary education.

2. How Bad Books Improved My Romantic Life

My favorite bad children’s book

So I’m on a date.
The guy is handsome and wonderful in all ways, but I must judge whether our personalities click. So I insist that we read Humu: The Little Fish Who Wished Away His Colors aloud together. Yes, it’s a kid’s book. Yes, it’s my idea of fun. And it’s my assessment of whether we are compatible.

Humu was shipped to me as a gift from a friend who was born and raised in Hawaii. He explained that children’s books from Hawaii tended to be bad because they were made solely as souvenirs. As a result, Hawaiian picture books resemble popular mass market material. Humu was obviously some knock-off of The Rainbow Fish, like the movie industry’s equivalent of a mockbuster.

The book never lets me down: the story makes logically no sense, the words are redundant (not in the stylistic way), and the supposedly child-like main character has clinical depression. It is truly a masterful disaster.

Sharing love and humor is an important aspect to a relationship. Perhaps some men politely wouldn’t admit that my idea of ‘fun’ was distorted, so we fizzled out quickly and silently. But others reacted to Humu, and by the end of the piece were forever changed. I love to hear the excited and thrilled shouts of “That makes no sense!” and then together analyze creative ways the piece could work had we been the writers.

My current partner loved Humu like no other, and we’ve been happily together for about five years.

3. How Bad Books Made Me a Better Writer

With bad writing, words never melt away.
Bad books engage my mind so that I see the hodgepodge jigsaw pieces mash into spaces imperfectly. Trash isn’t just preferable; sometimes I have to read garbage in order to understand craft.

Good works are elusive. When I am beginning to understand the elements that make a work great, it takes over my mind and wrestles the criticism away. Great works integrate craft seamlessly; it’s made so you don’t notice why it’s good.

Bad books build character, especially when you realize sometimes bad books actually aren’t bad. You must have humility to admit that you’re entertained by something obviously repulsive. Bad writing teaches you to listen to your heart. We know when something that seems all wrong (a ridiculous concept, annoying vernacular dialogue, cliche plot points) is actually doing something right.

The Bad Book Club

Over the years my friends and I have developed an unofficial book club where we exchange pieces of terrible writing. You can’t find our featured reads at your local Walgreens in the trade paperback section. Our picks are rare: they spawn from medical brochure racks and beginning creative writing classes. We hungrily tear apart the most unsuspecting and perhaps the most intentionally disheveled works.

How about you? Are you going to come out of the closet and admit your love for trash? Fast-track the road to fame and success by starting your own Bad Book Club.