Odd Things Narcissists Will Do To Torture You.

Strange Commonalities Are Often Seen In Abusers.

Sam [Sans Surname]
We Are Warriors
7 min readDec 7, 2019

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Photo by Daniil Kuželev on Unsplash

Abuse Victims and Survivors Find Many Similarities When Sharing Their Stories.

These are the types of things that people just cannot easily fabricate.

At first, you’ll likely dismiss the warning signs in order to maintain the peace.

However, as time goes on it will seem that these things intensify in potency, leaving you drained and exhausted. Eventually you will find there is a pattern developing in how you are being treated.

How many times have we unknowingly walked past someone who is going through the same peculiar things we are?

Here are some odd signs that could be red flags that you are experiencing abuse.

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They Walk Quickly In Front of You, Try to Lose You, And Deliberately Leave You Behind.

Have you ran and ran just to catch up to your partner who always walks ahead of you? Does it seem like they are running, and despite your best efforts cannot keep up with their pace? Have you asked them to slow down, but they keep doing it? If this is something that happens to you often and at just the right times, you could be experiencing the abuse of a narcissist.

Abusers love to do this — if it is especially crowded or there is a high probability of confusion or becoming lost. Airports are one place this is likely to happen. Foreign countries where there is a chaotic and unfamiliar environment are also possibilities. It is as if they are playing a “game” with you, so they can watch you panic. They do this to evoke feelings of fear and anxiety, often times to “teach you a lesson” or prime you for further abuse.

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They Make Fun Of The Way You Walk, Your Posture or Your Gait.

It could be that at first they think how you hold yourself is “cute.” They might comment on how you stand, or correct you to stand upright. They might compare you to some type of animal, or just laugh and giggle at you. At first, it is easy to miss this one — although it will most certainly make you feel uncomfortable.

Posture and gait can tell much about a person’s character, and it is often used to make a quick assessment of another person’s confidence or state of mind. You could have had great posture you entire life, but after exposure to abuse, you may start slouching or curling your body inward from low self-esteem. An abusive person will begin pointing this out about you once they acknowledge that they’ve changed you in this way— but they’ll attribute it to your “flaws.”

Also, abusers do this because to them you are an accessorized trophy — they want you to look good on their arm in public…when that serves their purpose, of course. At other times, they will want to embarrass you in public, such as correcting you in front of someone else.

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They Insist You Do Things The “Hard Way.”

They will attempt to increase your “work ethic” or “resilience.” They make you agree to things to avoid conflict and reinforcing their proclamations that you are an “ incapable, weak person,” you go along with it.

It could be something as simple as spending time to do all the laundry by hand rather than use the washing machine and dryer. It could be washing the dishes by hand instead of the dishwasher. It could be taking a road trip across great distances during dangerous weather, such as on a “snow day,” when all schools and job sites have been shut down.

They do not want to wait, and they do not want to do things the better way — they want to do it their way…to intentionally exhaust you. If you are physically exhausted, an abuser knows they can play with your emotions more readily. They just won’t let you rest, and they constantly push you to push yourself to the maximum limit. If you didn’t suffer from anxiety going into the relationship, chances are you’ll start having symptoms and sometimes actual panic attacks after experiencing this type of ongoing abuse.

They Like “Being Alone” Or Demand Alone Time More Than The Average Person.

Their alone time means extended stay trips without warning or months of living by themselves. They’ll say they want to be alone because you get on their nerves. They’ll say you are too demanding of their time, or that you have in some way imposed on their “freedoms.”

In the case of an abuser, this means that they want time to partake in activities free from scrutiny — such as spending time drinking, having sex with other people (themselves included), doing drugs with their “friends,” or something else hidden from you. They might take trips that are “spur of the moment,” usually when you have something big or important coming up. They could be gone for weeks or months at a time.

They will lie to cover up the real purpose behind this plight. They will make you feel guilty for asking them about what they’re up to, or if you call them when you haven’t heard from them in days, you are “bothering” them.

They Are Mean To Wait Staff and People Working In The Service or Retail Industry.

It is true that this can and is done also by the “garden variety jerk.” However, they may become verbally abusive or extremely out of hand, making a big scene in public. You might feel you have to “calm them down” or play referee when things get too heated. It is likely you who will be apologizing to the staff for the behavior of your abuser.

They only do this when they have determined they can get away with it, and they bully others in order to feel superior. They might directly criticize others on their social class or intellect. When this happens, it feels that finally someone else is seeing the real abusive behavior you’ve seen in secret.

When it comes to abusers, they do this particularly to leverage their dynamic with you. That means being cruel to you, then playing the role of victim in front of others who are onlooking.

They Often Demand Sleep, Claim You Don’t Let Them Rest, But Sleep Like a Baby After You Argue While You Stay Up All Night Crying.

You might have started out with arguments you thought were “lover’s quarrels.” Things may have resolved relatively quickly in the beginning of the relationship, but now it is taking longer to resolve conflict.

However, the conflict never seems to have a final resolution. As time goes on, you’ll find many nights of restlessness as you stay up crying over a recent escalation that turned into a fight. They will shut down the conversation and leave.

One common sign of an abuser is when that person is able to soundly sleep after things have gotten heated. They won’t try to make up with you, they will go in another room and lock you outside to sleep alone, although they know you are crying. They want you to stay up and be exhausted from a long night of the torture they inflicted upon you.

Intimate Partner Abuse Is Real, And These Signs Could Indicate Impending Threats of Violence.

When it comes to intimate relationships, things can turn violent in a hurry. Although there are indicators that could be predictors of this outcome, a relationship may have had emotional and psychological abuse present for many years before turning into physical violence.

Please note: If you are experiencing ongoing abuse from your partner, it may be time to reconsider your options.

If you are in a violent relationship and are living in fear for your life or safety, call local law enforcement for help.

Develop a safe plan of exit and reach out to your local domestic violence shelter, or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1–800–799–7233 or visit their website online to chat with an advocate.

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Sam [Sans Surname]
We Are Warriors

an off-grid sleeping beauty starring as keeper of the peace, a survivalist rescued by homegrown love.