The Nature of Violence: Domestic Violence and War
Warfare and domestic violence may not seem to have many parallels at face value. One is public, one private. One is on mass, the other intimate. Yet there are threads of commonalities between the two, which are outlined below.
Whilst war plays out in a national and international context this ignores that every person in a conflict zone is intimately affected by warfare's violence in a multitude of ways — emotionally, physically, economically. It is important not just to look at the scale of war but the ordinary, daily lives in conflict zones too. The destruction of property, livelihoods, homes, childhoods and futures is intimately personal. Domestic abuse is by nature intimately violent in differing ways too, physical violence, emotional violence, gaslighting, economic control and isolation. Victims of both can experience trauma, fear, disbelief, and a loss of hope. War and domestic violence are part of the same complex of violence, their emotional and psychological aspects as central as physical harm.
War and domestic violence are also highly gendered. Whilst not always the case, in general individuals enacting the violence are male, especially as conscription is often something only men face, yet women are disproportionately affected in both scenarios. Between 75% and 80% of the world’s refugees and internally displaced persons are women and their dependent children. Similarly, domestic violence causes many families to seek refuge elsewhere. It is important to remember that domestic violence can also occur in conflict zones, but women cannot always seek refuge elsewhere, there are rarely provisions such as shelters to escape domestic violence due to the ‘more important’ threats of violence outside the home.
Against their will, women and children across the world are having their lives impacted by male perpetrators of violence.
This gendering also appears in the hypermasculinization of war, with men displaying ‘strength’ and protecting ‘women and children’, denying them agency to act as ‘innocent’ combatants. War approves and encourages violence by its nature, which can be mimicked in social, non-combat environments, where hyper-masculine traits can be encouraged in a relationship and transfer violence there– controlling a partner or pressuring someone into a sexual action is violence and this can be socially sanctioned. Moreover, gendered forms of violence, sexual violence in wartime and in the domestic sphere has been, and can be, used to instil fear, humiliate, and disempower.
Hypermasculinization is also apparent in post-conflict communities which consistently experience high rates of domestic and family violence, the ending of public violence shifting it into the private sphere and leading to increased patriarchal gender norms. The transition from war to peace can be a difficult adjustment, due to the differences in socially sanctioned behavior. Moreover women are often excluded, or not considered, during peace talks and conflict prevention and resolution efforts.
Another threat of commonality is the potential of an abuse of power. A dominant partner, in this case the abuser and the winning side can control the narrative. An abuser is likely to appear charming to others, with the violence not being displayed to the outside world and perpetuating a perfect relationship façade. In conflict zones the adage history is written by the victors, especially before the internet, allowed a narrative chosen by the winning side– be it a positive spin, the hiding of war crimes, or the unwarranted disparagement of their opponents.
Moreover there is a societal ignorance to both situations. War is ‘forgotten’ by those not directly impacted who go back to their daily lives, with few changes. Domestic violence, despite its prevalence, is hidden and not talked about. People do not like to discuss either, for fear of how it makes them feel. They have a choice to ignore the situation, and they do so gladly. Victims of war and domestic violence do not have such a luxury. Yet they also always display resistance even though gender, race and class play a huge role in who survives, and has a favorable outcome.
Both in war and domestic violence the intimate nature of violence affects all who encounter it. Both can be harrowing occurrences that can last years, and be difficult to escape from. Many do not. Both have heavy physical and emotional impacts that can require years of work to overcome. Violence in any of its many forms is devastating, regardless of scale.
At We Encourage, our heart goes out to victims of all forms of violence. We want to encourage you to become survivors, to work towards losing the hold violence can have on you. We have created our AINO chatbot that is learning how to respond to people who may be experiencing domestic violence, and to provide information if you wish to speak to it.
