Is it ‘patriarchal’ to tell a girl her first time having sex will be painful?

Complicated discussions regarding black girls and sexuality

Photo credit: Jeferson Gomes/Unsplash

“That is the most unromantic reason to lose your virginity that I’ve ever heard,” my mother said to me.

I laughed in response. “Hey, man, I didn’t want anyone to one-up me anymore. Everyone around me knew how…