Brotherly Love

‘Sup dawg. Hey Yo. How’s it goin?

All good. Keepin’ it real.

Word. Tight. Nice.

Aight. See you later bro.

Peace.

We had all these ways of talking to one another. Hard fist bumps and distant bro-hugs. We’d “give each other shit” by “breaking our balls” and “talking shit” about each other as some kind of ritualistic bonding exercise. We’d especially be good at b.s.-ing our skills with the ladies and how smooth we were in our “conquests” and what-have-you. We were bros.

Now we send ❤️ and 💙 in text messages to one another. We give real hugs and care. We talk about emotions and listen to one another. We remember our kids names. We are there for each other when family members are sick and can relate to the challenges of married life and our careers. We truly care and are ok with saying it. We even use the word “love” with one another.

Our male friendships have changed a lot over the last period of years as we’ve come to terms with a softer-side of masculinity. We can still watch football and shoot the shit. We can get together to drink beers and eat pizza and watch the big fight. We can take our kids to the playground and soccer practice and what have you.

But it is in a more gentle and humane way.

Being a man in 2018 is different than it used to be in many ways.

Back in 1998 the Beastie Boys, wrote a Song for the Man based on their experiences on the NYC subway:

The thing is, in 20 years their vision of what was at the time socially acceptable but morally repugnant is now both.

Progress comes in small ways. The way we talk to one another as men is simply part of it.

So even though we should keep punching each other in the mouth when necessary, this more nuanced and heartfelt set of male friendships is an important step for society to a more evolved way of being together.

DAL