Remembering Our Youngest Heroes

Month of the Military Child

April is the Month of the Military Child and like many other “months” or “days” it’s easy to gloss right over … after all, it’s also Financial Literacy Month.

Yet an article posted by Task & Purpose Military Children and the Effects of Years of War recently caught my eye.

While sending a loved one off to war is confusing and scary enough, even in peacetime, separation during field operations, training and deployments are a given in military life.

I couldn't help but to think back to 2002 … hardly able to contain my excitement one day as I drove home in a rental car from MacArthur Airport, Islip, N.Y. It was Mother’s Day weekend and I had secured a 4-day pass, for a surprise visit home to Long Island.

Admittedly, the trip fed more into my fatherly instincts as it had been two months since saying goodbye to my infant daughter, Emily.

In those two months, while on active duty orders to Marine Forces Reserve Headquarters in New Orleans, I had missed her first steps.

Before accepting those orders, I had been the one who watched her during the day while my wife was at work. In the evenings, I attended college on the GI Bill (the fruits of my prior active duty labor) and worked security at a bar.

Other than drill weekends and annual training, I was always there when Emily woke up. She had missed the normalcy of having me as her primary caregiver.

With my daughter Emily aboard the USS Portland (LSD-37), prior to deploying with Marine Forces UNITAS, Aug. 2002.

And this was 2002, so there was no FaceTime. Cell-phones were around, but they weren’t very smart and hadn’t become the “necessity” they seem to be now. Heck, “dial-up” was still a thing.

I also spent quite a bit of time away from landlines, bouncing around the country for the mobilization and training of reserve units for the still new Global War on Terror.

But now, I was home. I could hardly wait for my little princess to greet me. You know, in the way homecoming videos all over Facebook make our eyes “leak” a little.

Not this time.

Emily walked up — took one look at me — and dropped to the floor in a tear-filled tantrum.

My heart sank.

I’d spend the few, short days I had getting her to warm up to me. I wondered what her reaction would be when, a couple months later, I would board a ship for a deployment to South America.

Despite the fact that I myself was a military child, this was the first time I fully-realized the effect deployments have on families.

My father spent 21 years in the Marine Corps, dragging my family to exotic locales like Camp Lejeune, N.C.; Twentynine Palms, Calif; and Yuma, Ariz. This photo was taken at his graduation from the Warrant Officer Basic Course at Quantico, Va., circa 1981.

I could begin to see the correlation between my acting out and getting into trouble as a youth when my father wasn't around. I better understood the varying relationships between him and my siblings.

Deployments, moves, changing schools — these are all regular parts of military life that children must adapt to on a continuous basis.

There’s also the language and culture of being a military kid that isn't always quite understood outside the base gate.

According to the Department of Defense, there are 1.9 million children ranging in age from newborn to 18, who have one or both parents serving in the military.

To help families overcome challenges, the DoD does offer a variety of programs to help, including family support centers on installations.

There’s also help online with Military One Source.

Of course the challenges can often be greater for the families of deployed reservists who fall outside of established support programs.

Filling this gap are nonprofits like Our Military Kids which helps children cope through grants that pay for activities like sports, art, music, and tutoring.

This positive distraction eases the anxiety they may be feeling about their parent’s deployment. The grants are also available to the children of wounded or fallen service members, which eases the financial and emotional burdens of caregivers.

Children benefiting from the Bob Woodruff Foundation’s support of Our Military Kids send thank you cards.

The program enjoys the support of funders like the Bob Woodruff Foundation.

Of course, there is only so much any one program or support network can do. It’s really up to all of us to do more.

We spend a lot of time thanking our men and women in uniform — rightly so.

Let’s take the time this Month of the Military Child to show our appreciation for our nation’s youngest heroes as well.

Military children grow accustomed to military traditions, like what to do when the flag is raised or lowered.

Cover photo: A little girl hangs on to her father during 1st Reconnaissance Battalion’s homecoming ceremony at Marine Corps Base Camp Pendleton, Dec. 15, 2010. Many military families are stationed thousands of miles away from their extended family and friends which makes support during deployments and other difficult times much harder. (U.S. Marine Corps photo by Sgt. Heidi E. Agostini)