HOLIDAY SURVIVAL KIT VOL. 2
by Evangelist Linda J. Jackson
Dear friend I hope that you were encouraged by the Thanksgiving Holiday scenarios I shared with you in my Holiday Survival Kit Vol. 1. I have compiled what I believe are some helpful suggestions and strategies to further enhance your Holiday celebrations.
READY! L E T’ S GO!
Communication for Host and Guest
Positive, clear, and consistent communication are the tools necessary in sustaining healthy relationships, especially when it comes to your invited guest for the Holidays. Hints and abstract dialogue may never accomplish your goal to have your true feelings be respected and honored. What is obvious to you may not be obvious to others. As the host, communicate to your invited guest ALL of your expectations PRIOR to the event, including their arrival and departure time. This will help to avoid unnecessary awkwardness that may ruin a friendship or the potential of such.
Suggestion
1. Find the positive in verbalizing a request or complaint.
Example: “We really love the way you hold to your traditions! It has encouraged us to begin our own! So this Thanksgiving we will_______.”
Example: “We really would like to give you the chance to experience us at our best where____ is concerned. We appreciate your kindness but would like to do it differently this time.
2. Sending, invitations, e-mails with a specific itinerary is a great way to communicate your desires for your Thanksgiving Day Celebration. The invitations can be homemade in the form of a heart-felt Holiday greeting. The use of e-mail can be just as effective and cost efficient. These strategies allow one to personalize specific guidelines and expectations of their guests.
The advantages of positive, clear and consistent communication are:
a. One is able to express their desires with less offense given or received.
b. One sets clear boundaries.
c. It reveals everyone’s true intentions.
d. Your family and guest come to understand what to expect of you whether they agree or not with your choices.
Dear SINGLES and INVITED GUESTS
Please know that you are of GREAT value and integrity. The same respect and convenience is due to you as well as any other guest. Others sometimes need guidance on how to interact with you as a guest. Here are some suggestions and strategies to support and encourage you in your Holiday fun.
DO NOT assume the following:
1. Your invitation was given out of pure empathy.
2. You are just there to help add numbers or diversity to the guest list.
3. You are a surprise candidate on the MATCH GAME!
4. You are automatically the volunteer for kitchen help.
5. An offer extended for you to take left overs home indicates your incapability of cooking or providing for yourself.
6. A yes to this invite will have to follow yet another yes or else you will offend.
Though many of you have had to endure the AWFUL awkwardness of these outcomes from a negative perspective, please know that it is not always the intention of the Host for you to go away mistreated. Do your research! Ask the host all of the questions needed to make you feel secure in your response to the invite.
Suggestions:
- Use positive, clear, communication to accept or decline an invitation
- Thank the host for the invitation and ask if you will be the only single present.
- Ask if there will be other activities besides dinner.
- Ask about the attire.
- If transport is necessary, ask the host if bringing a guest is permissible. However make sure you inform your guest concerning ALL of the details concerning the event.
- Exercise your right to Firmly yet Positively decline any awkward on-the-spot request or personal information.
Suggestion: A good way to avoid awkward conversation is to say that you would prefer to express your thoughts on the particular subject at another time or that you have no comment but thanks them for their interest in your opinion.
7. Never feel obligated to stay where you are clearly not comfortable. Thank the host for the invite and feel free to excuse yourself. You may even let the host know prior to your coming that you may have to leave a bit early if the information about the gathering you have been invited to attend is vague.
DINNER PREPARATION
I find it helpful to rehearse the goals and priorities of your Holiday Celebration. This strategy provides a foundation for a time based schedule, budget and an overall realistic view of what will actually unfold during your celebration.
Suggestions:
Buying gift cards ahead of time to the store(s) where you will do the majority of your shopping will help to keep your budget afloat.
Start your holiday shopping a few months ahead with those items that are boxed, canned, or fresh items, such as fruits or veggies that can be stored in the freezer.
NEVER try out new recipes on your guests as there is NO recourse for horrible tasting food.
Chicken Capons, sliced turkey breast with a good gravy, or sliced ham with a great glaze are always a good back up plan to a turkey disaster!
A store bought fruit pie (apple, etc.) and/or a plain cake that you add a fruit topping to (such as pound cake with strawberry topping), served with an option of ice cream is a safe alternative.
Re-plating store bought sides or desserts into your own casserole or special holiday dishes and adding a garnish (like leafy salad greens, parsley, sprinkles of paprika, or chives), along with fruits, such as strawberries or lemon slices, help put a homemade spin of decoration to your food entrées and your beverages.
CONVERSATION AND ATMOSPHERE
Guests hardly ever arrive at the same time. Some guests come early, others come on time, and a few may be moderately late. Trying to keep guests entertained while others are still gathering can be a chore. Trying to keep conversation from going just plain WRONG can feel like an IMPOSSIBLE JUGGLING ACT!
Here are some suggestions:
Stay away from conversation that provokes conflict or disagreement, such as politics, religious doctrine, marital status, family planning, financial status, or any subject that would make your guest feel as though they are the TARGET of scrutiny.
Music is always an excellent way to enhance the atmosphere. Make sure your music is the right volume so that your guest will not have to strain at conversation.
Chips, dip, small fruit ( grapes, strawberries), or fruit and cheese trays and other finger appetizers help stretch your meal inexpensively and are great for those guests who arrive early.
Involve your guests in fun games that can be played with teams. Games such as charades or word games, where teams try to make as many words out of a given phrase, is a non-evasive way for your guests to bond. These games allow for a variety of ages and are not dangerously competitive.
Well Dear friends, that's all for now. I hope that my HOLIDAY SURVIVAL KIT VOL. I and II will be tools of guidance and encouragement. Be BLESSED and know that you are NEVER alone. Keep your heart and mind open to expectation and possibility through prayer and surrender to God. Watch him work out the IMPOSSIBLE!!
Happy Holidays!
Enjoy reading the rest of our stories in our WEALTH OF WORDS publication. Feel free to share, recommend and clap. Thanks!