Plus One.
Are some people destined to remain alone on the sidelines?
Yet another wedding, of a dear friend, has passed and one thing remained…me being without a plus one. In all of my twenty-six years of living, and the multitude of weddings I have frequented, I have yet to have a date. And, it has gotten me thinking:
Are some people destined to sit on the sidelines alone…Never to have a plus one in their lifetime?
I know this way of thinking is a bit drab, but it is more common when nearing one’s thirties. The thought “Will I die alone” can weigh on some people’s minds. Sadly, I have to say it does for me occasionally.
For myself, weddings are what really spark those types of thoughts. Even more so, when you realize you are the only one in your friend group without a plus one. As well as having no prospects at the wedding…no one seems to even bat an eye at you.
Though you are happy for the newlyweds, you wonder when it will be your turn.
I find that life can be ironic at times. The friend who did not want to get married until their thirties is the very person getting married at the age you so desired to.
I often wonder, if I had more prospects growing up, if I would feel the slight sadness that I do when going solo to events. Or would I simply realize that is not as important as it may seem?
It was twenty-four years before I was asked out, by my ex-boyfriend, and he strung me along for about two more years. I honestly believe that I would not have allowed it if he were not the only person to show me interest.
Even while dating him I ponder these questions, feeling as though he did not desire a future with me. Every time I asked him to be my plus one…he refused.
However, the pressure of growing up in a religious culture and with the thoughts that women should be wed at a younger age, I believe it has made me this way. To some, I would be considered an old maid and I am constantly told that my biological clock is ticking.
At times I wish I was born into a culture that did not have such high expectations for women. However, that was not the case. So, for now, I will continue to ponder the question:
Will I ever find my plus one?
