Member-only story
Apparitions
Dealing with death
In the weeks and early months after Ben’s passing, I occasionally spotted a man walking in the neighborhood who was the same size and height as Ben. I’d think, “What is Ben doing walking here? He didn’t mention that he was going for a walk.”
My mind thought he was alive and that the man I saw might be him. For a second, I thought Ben hadn’t died. These sorts of “sightings” are common after a loved one dies. I haven’t had one since last summer.
Two weeks ago, I was driving home from a client’s office. As I turned on my street, I saw a man resembling Ben walking in the distance. But unlike the previous times, I did not wonder why he was walking in that area. My mind was not fooled into thinking he had never died.
No, this time, for one nanosecond, I thought, “Ben’s come back! He’s come back for me!”
No, this time, my mind thought my dead Ben was resurrected.
For that fraction of a second, I was the happiest I’ve ever been.
Then, reality hit. From joy to despair. In less than a second.
Six days later, I had a dream. I was standing in the doorway of our bedroom in our old house, looking down the hallway to the front door. The house looked exactly the same as when we lived there…
