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Balanced
March Weeds & Wildflowers Writing Prompt
When I look at Dan Pfeifer’s photo of a male House Finch, my attention goes to his perch and how he’s balanced on a small peg. Birds have an incredible ability to rest on next to nothing, reserving their energy until they take flight.
Since Ben died in May, my life has been out of balance and discombobulated. I feel like I am teetering on the edge of disaster. I ruminate and worry. Anxiety is my constant companion, and I’m always in fight-or-flight mode.
This winter, I’ve been reading/listening to books about corraling anxiety. My favorite thus far is Dan Harris’s 10% Happier about his mindfulness and meditation journey after having a panic attack while delivering the news on ABC’s Good Morning America television show.
My springtime goal is to regulate my anxiety through meditation. I’ve unsuccessfully tried meditating in the past. The lack of success was my fault, not meditation’s. I wasn’t committed to the practice and allowed my often hectic and stressful life to take control. Truthfully, my life has less turmoil these days, although I feel like it’s one big ball of bedlam. Being alone 95% of the time allows me the opportunity to meditate in silence and without interruption. I have no excuse now.
