Oct 25, 2020
Floating On A Thin Ice Sheet
The dilemma paradox of life
Tween my dream and passion
Initiation of war has begun
The battleground feels scary
For its turning point in my career
Where feelings echo uncertainty; and
Life trembles like floating on a thin ice sheet.
The turnaround has been major
For it required strength of courage
Whether or not to continue following the old
Or try exploring something new in the existential domain.
Trust me my heart cries out loud
For the previous goal of being a civil servant
Remained to breathe through
From childhood until now, maybe forever;
Midways accompanied my personal calling
It is none other than my creative writings.
As a child humanities influenced my life
Brought me closer to humankind
Twas natural for me to pursue my previous goal
As I found it as the only way
Where humanities, society, and government interconnected
Togetherly contributing growth to propel.
Lately, it’s been a while giving an attempt
Unsure if it’s my only life purpose to meet
The preparation mentioned a difficult street
Whereby I lost major of beautiful memories
The time demanded sincere dedication, also
Extreme persistence, hard work, and emotional balance
Trying my best to sail through the moments
Not knowing if it’s the solution opted best.
While my preparation on the way
Struggles, mental exhaustion, and stress;
Found embrace in poetic words I created Much unstructured like wavering thoughts Yet reflected my musings in a deeper way
This I would say, is a feeling without words
Needed not to be written in structured way
It’s the feeling — no matter whichever way.
It feels extremely eerie also strenuous
To opt-out from either of my goals
For civil services was my evergreen path
Writings stimulated courage in darker moments
The former is like my happiness, bloom, and joy
The latter feels like a peace home where I return by.
The duo requires unfiltered dedication
Needs accomplishment in certain time frame
All this while it was a bumpy road —
Few with a rainbow of success,
Failures passing like clouds of distress, and
Ambiance presently reflects like odd hours
Confused which one to opt and
Which one to wipe off.
One goal has my heart, the other is a dream
Tear’s river down for dream conditioning
The phase feels like snow-clad winter trees
Like a valley covered with fogs and mists
Like a mirror covered with specks of dust,
Life feels like floating on a thin ice sheet.
Reading through my life; mentions
A hidden force needed to be identified
It requires me to be brave, bold, and courageous
To trust the law of the universe; finally
Prepare me to unfold the hidden treasure.
With hope, I seek through
To the intuitive voices guiding me along
Like the winds blowing melodious song
Like the barren desert where Life prospers
Like a caravan where every dots of life connects
To unleash the clarity desired by a soul to be met.
Difficult though; that’s how life’s meant to be
Like an empathy with showerful blessings
I vibe through such chants all night and day
However, it always ends up as —
A life floating through a thin ice sheet
Sailing to find the shore of relief.
