Zero To The Left
Dealing with death
There is a Spanish saying, cero a la izquierda. In English, it translates as zero to the left. I learned it from Ben. It refers to someone who has little or no importance or power.
I am zero to the left.
That’s how Florida law sees me when it says I can’t make cremation plans for Ben because I’m not his legal wife. Who took care of him for years as his health fluctuated? Who was at his hospital bedside? Who helped him regain his memory after his fall and brain bleed? Who helped him do his physical therapy exercises and took him to as many as six medical appointments in one week? Who helped him recover from surgeries and took him to and from dialysis for a year? Who recorded his vitals each day for two years? Who kept track of all his appointments and medications? Who was his legal healthcare surrogate and the executor of his will?
Me, all me.
Had he been on life support, I had the power to take him off, but I couldn’t sign the necessary paperwork to have him cremated. His legal wife had to do that, even though she lives in another state, even though they hadn’t seen one another in over a decade. But guess who can pay for the cremation?
Me, all me.
