The Winner of Today’s Comey Hearings? The Arizona Diamondbacks

I really hate to add to the deluge of coverage and commentary that has surely taken over your feeds, news alerts and water cooler conversation today, but you only need to know one thing: who won the day?

That’s how politics works (when we’re not giving you the latest and greatest sports/politics news, Weekend Caucus staff are usually doing politics). You put out your messages, the other team puts out theirs, the media does their take and at the end of it all you ask “did we win the day?” Just like sports.

And there’s been plenty of opinions on who won today: CNN called it for Comey and Burr and Warner and Richman and Thomas Becket, Trump’s lawyer called it for his client, Fox News thought no-one won and the media lost (ie. the most positive spin you could give Trump), everyone else called it for Comey.

But the real winner of the day comes as a result of today’s biggest loser — John McCain, who took the nation on a rambling tour of his apparent senility, with a confusing series of questions about “President Comey” that no-one could follow. He isn’t even a member of that Senate committee.

He explained himself afterwards:

“I get the sense from Twitter that my line of questioning today went over people’s heads. Maybe going forward I shouldn’t stay up late watching the Diamondbacks night games.”

The Arizona Diamondbacks had the perfect response, tweeting a screenshot of the statement, accompanied only by what we were all feeling: a shrug.

To top it all off, The Dbacks had one of their best days of the season, completing a clean sweep of The San Diego Padres with an emphatic 15–3 victory which featured Chris Iannetta who homered, doubled twice and drove in a career-high seven runs.

The Diamondbacks demonstrated why they’re such a compelling distraction to the octogenarian senator from Arizona, and they celebrated it with this amazing gif:

And with that, Weekend Caucus declares the Arizona Diamondbacks the winner of today.

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