Honest Advice from a Therapist: Making Therapy Work
What should I do if therapy doesn’t seem to be working for me? How should I make it work better for me?
One of the hardest obstacles those who seek help encounter is having to readjust their expectations of what therapy is. There are over 100,000 therapists just in the United States, and many have their own unique approach so it can be easy to feel overwhelmed or want to give up.
To get advice on this problem, I reached out to Patricia Alvarado, a licensed professional clinical counselor and EMDR therapist.
Here’s what she had to say:
The biggest piece when thinking about if therapy is working for you or not is to think back to the objectives within therapy. What are your goals for coming to therapy in the first place? Do you feel like you are aligning with your therapist at this time?
When thinking about these questions, it’s important to also notice the therapeutic relationship and explore this with your therapist. The hope is that you have built a relationship with your therapist where you can share how you are feeling and reassess the treatment objectives. When I work with my clients, I want them to feel comfortable enough to be transparent. We are all human first, and therapy should make you feel powerful, not powerless. Notice that you are part of the conversation and therefore, part of the relationship as well.
With that, also remember that therapy takes time. I wish we had a magic wand that would magically change the way that you are feeling but unfortunately, we don’t. Therapy takes time, patience, courage, and strength. If you have been struggling with something for many years, it is going to take time to unlearn past behaviors and learn new ones. Healing takes time. When pain has been with us for the majority of our life, it takes bravery and time to push through past insecurities, maladaptive behaviors, and insecurities to see the growth.
Use the tools and resources that are provided and if you feel that those are lacking, ask for more. Ask to review what more you can do, and do the work. The simple fact that you are in therapy in the first place is a huge first step, one that many struggle to get to.
