A Needed Guide to Managing Anger in a Pandemic
How do you let go of anger when you can’t physically distance yourself?
Do you have any tips on how to let go of anger when you can’t physically distance yourself?
With the current pandemic, many people are feeling more on edge than usual. Pair this with increased isolation from regular support and you get a recipe for disaster. The first piece of advice people will give you (and the first tip you learn in kindergarten) is that when you’re angry, walk away.
A lot of the time, though, this doesn’t work.
Maybe you’re stuck at home with all these emotions bottled up inside you but for some reason (a pandemic) you can’t leave your house. What do you do then?
To get advice on this problem, I reached out to Patricia Alvarado, a licensed professional clinical counselor and EMDR therapist.
Here’s what she had to say:
When you think about anger, think about the underlying feeling that is present—that feeling might be sadness. I often share that it is easier to yell than it is to cry. Crying, for many people, is thought to be weak and vulnerable when in reality, it shows strength. It takes courage to be vulnerable and share what you are truly thinking and feeling.
As I think about this question more, I come back to the underlying feeling of sadness and then begin thinking about forgiveness. Forgiveness can be tricky for many of us because one may think that the person does not deserve forgiveness…or that what they did is unforgivable…or more so, that they are not asking for forgiveness.
But that’s the thing about forgiveness is, it does not mean that the person is asking for forgiveness in order for you to forgive, but more so that you are not going to allow the situation, person, or belief to guide you. It probably weighs heavily on you…you are feeling angry (or sad), cannot physically distance yourself, and on top of that you are holding space for whatever negative situation occurred.
Forgiveness does not mean that your feelings do not matter, if anything it means that they matter so much that you are not going to allow anger to consume you. It does not mean that whatever reason that is causing you upset should be forgotten like it doesn’t matter — like a forgive and forget type of thing…no, it means that you acknowledge that whatever happened was not okay but you are also not going to let this situation play a big role in your life. Moving forward does not mean that you are not important or that the situation was not valid. It just means that you can see what occurred, and chose to move forward for YOU.
Forgiveness is a choice despite the anger that is present.
