Honest Advice from a Therapist: Oversharing & Vulnerability
I am afraid of oversharing with my therapist. What should I do?
Many people struggle with finding the balance between being open and sharing too much. From an outside perspective, it may seem that being afraid of oversharing in therapy is counterintuitive, nonetheless, overcoming that emotional barrier can seem insurmountable.
To answer this, I reached out to Patricia Alvarado, a licensed professional clinical counselor and EMDR therapist. She has extensive training in crisis intervention and trauma treatment working with Victims of Crime both within community mental health agencies and her private practice. Her experience centers around working with women’s issues, relationships, crisis intervention, trauma-focused treatment, anxiety, depression, mindfulness, substance abuse, and parenting.
Here’s what she had to say:
The great part about therapy is that the hope is you can be completely vulnerable no matter the subject. When thinking about your therapist, ask yourself the reasons as to why you decided to work with them in the first place. This can help guide you when you are feeling as though you are oversharing. When you chose to work with this person, there was something about them that was the driving force, the reasons as to why you chose them over anyone else. If your therapist is feeling uncomfortable about topics that you are discussing then I wonder if they are the right fit for you.
As a therapist, the goal is to actively listen, be present for my clients, be in the here and now, and most importantly, come from a non-judgmental standpoint. This really creates a strong therapeutic alliance whereas with a client, you can share whatever comes to mind and as a therapist, we can use this to help push you depending on what you need.
Feeling afraid about oversharing can be normal. After all, this is someone that you may not know a lot about. But remember, the goal is that with time, you will feel comfortable sharing everything and that you can process the feelings surrounding sharing with your therapist, with your therapist.
