How To Be A Better Ally
Let’s make sure we are all supporting our LGBTQ+ friends during this time!
There’s a good chance that someone you know identifies as LGBTQ+. As Pride Month gets underway, many of us want to support our LGBTQ+ loved ones and be good allies for the community. Some of us don’t know where to start or how to be good allies.
Although we have good intentions, sometimes our actions perpetuate untrue stereotypes and preconceptions of the LGBTQ+ community that can be harmful. During Pride Month, let’s try to become better and more educated!
Here are some things to keep in mind for all the allies out there!
Stop Making Assumptions
- Many people who stereotype the LGBTQ+ community are shocked when LGBTQ+ people don’t fit into the stereotypes. Saying “you look/don’t look gay” is offensive and harmful. We should be supportive and uplifting of each other. Everyone in the LGBTQ+ community is unique and their gender/sexual identity looks different. No two people are alike!
- This idea that all gay men are “feminine” and all lesbian women are “masculine” comes from society’s misconceptions about what a “man” or “woman” should look like or act like. These characteristics “expected” of how a specific gender should behave and present themselves is toxic because people should be able to present themselves however they want. As allies, we should all be actively trying to unlearn these harmful stereotypes!
- Everyone in the LGBTQ+ community does not know each other! Although it is a small community, there are still hundreds of thousands of LGBTQ+ identifying people. It would be the same thing as assuming an Asian person knows every single other Asian person which sounds crazy! In the same vein, stop trying to set LGBTQ+ folk up with each other. Just because you know two people who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, etc doesn’t mean they like each other. It’s like expecting two heterosexual people to like each other just because their sexual orientations are compatible.
Learn about LGBTQ+ history and why PRIDE is celebrated
- The LGBTQ+ community has a deep history and as an ally, learning about their history is a great way to be educated on the issues that the LGBTQ+ community fights for and why they fight for them. There are many great resources such as History.com to get solid facts on Stonewall, the AIDs epidemic, and other key moments in the LGBTQ+ movement.
- Did you know? The Stonewall Inn riots were started when Marsha P. Johnson, a black, gender non-conforming, drag queen, threw the first shot glass. This event ignited the whole modern LGBTQ+ movement.
- The LGBTQ+ had to go through a lot of hardships to get to where they are right now. Pride Month isn’t just about the rainbows and the parades, it’s a celebration of progress towards true equality. Pride Month is also about spreading awareness for the LGBTQ+ movement and how they are not finished fighting! Many times, Pride parades are where LGBTQ+ people first feel accepted and see that there are many other people who are like them. Pride means a lot to the LGBTQ+ community and shouldn’t be dismissed as being too “in your face” or “showoff-y.” I invite you to come to a Pride parade in a city near you to experience this for yourself!
Speak up but not over!
- When the LGBTQ+ community is facing injustice, speaking out against these issues is very helpful! As allies, we should all be using our voices and privilege as heterosexual and/or cisgender person to help out our friends and family. However, there comes a time when as allies, we end up speaking over the voices of the LGBTQ+ community. We don’t know the struggles they’ve gone through to get to this point so we shouldn’t assume we understand. Our job as allies is to amplify the voices of the LGBTQ+ community, not drown them out!
Thank you for wanting to support the LGBTQ+ and bring more awareness to the struggles they face! Please continue to support the LGBTQ+ community and show them that you love them. Although some great strides have been made, the LGBTQ+ community still has some ways to go before they reach true equality. This is why allyship is so powerful. Together, we can amplify the voices of the LGBTQ+ community and help bring about positive change.
Our app Trill has a strong LGBTQ+ community where you can interact with people who have similar experiences as you! This is just one of many examples of how you can stay connected and be a part of the LGBTQ+ community.
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Stay Trill (true & real),
Rachelle
About The Author: Rachelle (she/her) is a sophomore at Rutgers University studying Computer Science and Statistics. Her favorite color is sunflower and she loves coffee ice cream.
