Trill Talk: Donavan Barrett
Martial arts athlete, LGBTQ+ role model, and college student Donavan Barrett uses his voice to amplify the voices of others.
Q: Here at Trill we like to keep it True and Real, so give us the scoop, Donavan. Who are you?
A: I’m someone who cares about people sometimes too much. I’m someone who has always wanted a voice that mattered because I have a lot to say and I’ve always been really good with people and communicating my message and understanding a bunch of different perspectives. I’m good at giving advice and telling people what they need to hear in the way that they need to hear it. I would say that that’s my biggest strength and that plays probably the biggest role in who I am and the choices I make.
Q: You got your start as an influencer because you wanted to show LGBTQ+ representation in the martial arts community. One thing we noticed about your social media is how willing you were to be an accessible figure (inviting people to message your DMs, asking questions, etc.). Were there any special instances where someone reached out to you? How do you manage that role you’ve given yourself on social media?
A: I’ve had the privilege of helping many people come out and come to terms with who they are. The one that really sticks in my mind is someone who at first, would leave hate comments on all of my posts and would say that what I’m doing is sinful and who I am is wrong and all this stuff. Then, four or five months later I got this DM from the same person and they said “hey you know I just want to apologize. I was struggling with my own identity and I grew up in a background where this was just not okay and I was trying to convince myself that I was someone I’m not by pushing that kind of hate that I have for myself on to you and to others.” I’m someone who’s really good at understanding perspectives and trying to meet people where they’re at so I saw the person was coming from not a good place and was really just crying for help in a lot of ways. Instead of saying “there’s no way I’m helping you” and leaving, I personally decided to guide this person on their path over the next few months to help them come to terms with who they are and now they’re living their truth proudly.
Q: What are some of the challenges of meshing the martial arts community with your LGBTQ+ identity, especially on the Internet? How did you surpass those challenges?
A: It’s being defined by only that. I get so many comments where it’s like “I don’t need a gay person telling me how to do Taekwondo”. But I’ve been doing this for 16 years of my life, I help people around the world do these things, and I have competed all around the world and won titles. I’m pretty confident that I know what I’m doing. What does martial arts have to do with who I love? So even though I am out and proud about being gay and being in the community and I’m proud of it very much, having every other aspect of my personality or my talents being taken away because of that and being narrowed down to only that is probably the biggest challenge. Just constantly having this feeling that I have to prove myself…but I’m working on getting out of that mindset because I don’t owe anyone an explanation. I don’t have to justify who I am to anybody. I don’t have to make people think that I deserve to be here. I deserve to be here and I know that and if you talk to deaf ears, you’re not going to get anywhere so while I am always open to educate and help people who are willing to listen and want to be educated, I’m learning that some people just want to hate because they’re miserable themselves. I’m just kinda like “well…I hope you find joy in your life one day.”
Q: What Trill Tips do you have for coming out?
A: For someone who wants to come out, I honestly think for one, it will happen. You’ll eventually get so tired of not living your truth because you can only do it for so long that you’ll just have to. My real advice to you is that there isn’t a perfect time. It’s going to be awkward no matter when you do it. It’s always scary to tell people. A lot of the people that I told already kind of thought that I was (gay) but it didn’t make it any less scary and I wish I could say that when you tell the first person, unicorns fly to the sky and everything’s great but no. It’s honestly just kind of weird if that makes sense and telling each person, at least in my experience, was just kind of weird even if they were accepting. But what I will say is once you get through that kind of weird, transitional phase where you weed that stuff out, there is such beauty and light at the end of the tunnel. There’s just nothing like being authentic and who you are.
Q: How does it feel shouting out your thoughts to over 10,000 people?
A: It’s crazy. I never thought that I would grow this much. I was really scared because I’m in martial arts so there is no track record of people like me and this is a very “masculine” sport (who knows what masculinity really is). There’s a lot to be desired in terms of representation and so I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to do it but growing close to 50,000 on YouTube and then getting over 10,000 on Instagram and being able to teach people around the world and having a successful business made me realize that representation is one of the most important factors of change. Hate always comes from ignorance so the more you put different types of people in multiple fields around the world and the more people see these different types of people, the less ignorant they will become because they are now integrated into society. I’m grateful to be that representation in my community for people.
Q: What made you decide to study Psychology in school? How does it impact your view of your role as an influencer and role model to your fans?
A: Psychology has been important to me for almost my whole life. In middle school, I actually had a blog where I wrote about anti-bullying and stuff like that so I loved creating safe spaces for people and it’s cool that I’ve stuck with that same messaging throughout my life. Psychology for me is important because, in my family, I’m often referred to as the family therapist. I’m the person who will rationally go through everybody’s stuff and tell people what they need to hear so that they can move on and be happy or reflect on why what they did was wrong. Nothing gives me more joy than knowing that I’ve helped someone else feel calm, happy or joyful so I think that’s where my passion for mental health comes from. I don’t know if my future is being an actual psychologist, but I really just want to use what I learn to become a public speaker and write books in the future and just incorporate it into my content so that I’m more educated on how I can use my voice to spread change in the right way.
Q: We noticed that you manage a Youtube, an Instagram, a Coaching Business, and getting a college degree all at once. How do you manage not being overwhelmed and stay in touch with your mental health despite your crazy schedule?
A: My two favorite things in the entire world are iced coffee and lists. Those are my two secrets to kind of staying on top of it. I know it sounds dumb to say iced coffee but one, caffeine keeps me awake and two, it’s a power move. I just feel like when coffee is in my hand, I can accomplish anything. There is no one that can tell me that I can’t do a million things at once! Lists are really good because I don’t do well with too much structure so I don’t like to say “from 7 to 7:30 I’m doing this” unless it’s an actual appointment but I love seeing everything laid out so I actually do daily lists. I don’t like to plan out my week or anything like that. Instead, every day, I like to take a blank sheet of paper and write it down because that really helps my mental health because I’m taking all of that stuff that’s racing in my brain and throwing it on paper every morning. It’s part of my morning routine and it really helps keep me stay calm.
Q: What is the one thing you would like to amplify using your voice right now?
A: I think right now we’re in a crazy time where there’s just a lot of things hitting us at once and I think that a lot of people are waking up to the fact that racism is a huge issue in America and the world. It’s never really been addressed and people need to realize that the Civil Rights Movement was not long ago, this isn’t some thousand-year-old thing. It was recent and the work is not even close to being done. We need to uplift black voices, uplift people of color, uplift trans people, and people in the LGBTQ+ community because if you don’t fall into any of those categories, your job is to be an ally and to amplify those people’s voices. The most important thing is to really listen and I think everybody, especially with social media, is so eager to talk and get their idea out there, but I think it’s really important to step back and listen to what people have been saying because if we had done that earlier, then we would probably be further along the path to equality by now.
Q: What is one final thing you would say to Trill users who might be feeling alone or are being stigmatized against?
A: I would say find your support group. I’m saying that to you and I’m also saying that to myself because it can be exhausting constantly feeling like you have to educate people and fight for your rights but having that support group will really kind of help keep you intact and help you realize that there’s a huge community of people fighting for the same rights and values that you are. It is not your job to take all of this on by yourself and it’s important to protect your mental health. If you need to take a break from social media and the news, that’s okay. There is a whole community to fall back on that will continue the fight while you get yourself back together.
Q: Where can we find out more about Donavan? How can we support you and your work?
A: I’m very interactive on Instagram and Twitter which you can find me @donavanbarrett. And I also have a Youtube channel where I’m making a shift toward using my voice to express myself more and talk about things that really matter to me.
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