What about the “+”?
Learn something new about the LGBTQ+ community this Pride Month!
Happy Pride Month! This June, we celebrate all sexualities and honor the people who came before us in this fight for equality.
Everyone knows that the LGBTQ+ in LGBTQ+ stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer but there is more to the acronym. What exactly is included in the “+”? There are many identities included but one sexuality that is often left out and excluded but is 100% valid is asexuality.
Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction. According to research by Anthony Bogaert, a psychology professor at Brock University in Ontario, Canada, about 1% of the population identifies as asexual. One percent seems like a small number but in context, this is about 78 million people!
You must have a million questions on what asexuality means so here are the answers so some big ones.
Isn’t it the same thing as celibacy?
- No. Celibacy is choosing not to have sex while asexuality is not feeling sexual attraction to others. Celibate people can still feel sexual attraction but they won’t act on it. Celibacy is about behavior while asexuality is about orientation.
Does this mean they won’t ever have sex?
- No. Asexuality is a spectrum. Some people enjoy sex (sex-positive), some people are ok with sex (sex-neutral), and some don’t want to have sex (sex-negative). There are many reasons why an asexual person may engage in sex. One popular reason could be that they want biological kids. Some people are demi-sexual which means they only develop sexual attraction once they get to know their partner well.
Isn’t everyone technically demi-sexual then? I want to wait to have sex with my partner once we get closer.
- No. It’s not about when a demi-sexual person decides to have sex and instead, it is more about when they will develop sexual attraction for their partner. Demi-sexual people don’t really see a celebrity and think they are “hot” or “sexy” like others do.
How do they know if they’re asexual if they’ve never had sex?
- No one else has to prove their sexuality so asexuals shouldn’t have to either. Asexuality is like any other sexual orientation: you either feel it or not. It isn’t about liking or not liking sex, so having sex doesn’t usually help decide if they are asexual or not.
Are asexual people part of the LGBTQ+ community? How do they benefit from Pride?
- Yes! Asexual people are included in LGBTQ+ if they choose to be. Pride definitely benefits as it brings more awareness and visibility to asexuality. Asexuality erasure is prevalent and leads to a worsening mental state for many people who identify with this identity. Pride allows them to help combat this issue!
Asexuality is a spectrum so everyone’s experiences and feelings are different. Sexuality isn’t a “one size fits all” type of identity. As we grow and mature, our feelings and opinions can shift. There is no gate-keeping in the asexual community! All are welcomed to explore their sexuality and ask questions!
From the experiences my asexual friends have told me about, it can be difficult living in such a sexual world. They don’t feel the same type of attraction (if any) to popular celebrities like others might experience and have even experienced exclusion from some LBGT+ groups. During Pride month, please uplift everyone around you. We are here to celebrate differences and learn more about what makes each person unique. If you know anyone who is asexual, please reach out to them and let them know how much you care about them!
Now that you know more about asexuality I hope you can spread your knowledge and bring awareness to asexuality during this Pride Month! If you want more information, The Asexuality Visibility & Education Network is a great resource you can use. A great community of asexual folk can be found on Reddit as well as our own app Trill!
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Stay Trill (true & real) and Happy Pride Month,
Rachelle
About The Author: Rachelle (she/her) is a sophomore at Rutgers University studying Computer Science and Statistics. She has a passion for social justice and supports her black brothers and sisters in these trying times. Her favorite color is sunflower and she loves coffee ice cream.
