5 ways to create more certainty in your life
“In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes” ~Benjamin Franklin~
Despite the famous quote from one of the greatest minds of the last century, I believe there is more certainty outside of death and taxes. We all crave certainty, it’s a basic human need, but how many of us create it? How many of us are certain of our own value and self worth? This week has been a gentle reminder for me, that the results we produce in our life are often determined by how confident we are about our choices.
I was on a Skype call with one of my mentors Andrew Priestly, and he asked me if I was any good at what I do. I paused for a second and then said ‘yes’. I realised it didn’t sound convincing and he pulled me up on it straight away. Whether it was because I didn't want to sound arrogant, or it was because I genuinely wasn't certain, the reason is irrelevant. The point was that I hadn’t communicated certainty, and ultimately, as Andrew made me realise, this is what people are actually buying into.
“The real product isn’t you, the real product is certainty” ~Andrew Priestly
I started thinking about how many people I had coached over the past few years that struggled with the same thing. It shows up in a number of different ways, sometimes as lack of self confidence, other times as a strong dislike of sales conversations. Either way, it all comes down to the same thing, are you certain you have something of value to offer?
We have all heard of imposter syndrome and can probably think of someone who has plenty of qualifications, but still thinks they aren't good enough to do the job. It’s a common theme, especially among creatives. This constant self-doubt can not only sabotage our success, but if we aren’t careful, it can stop us creating all together.
So how do we overcome self doubt and create more certainty in our life?
The simple answer is that we need to decide to be more certain. Certainty comes from within and if we are always looking for external validation, our confidence will be at the mercy of the people and events around us. Ok so you probably didn’t need to read this article to realise that, but it is important to highlight before I go into specific techniques that will allow you to create more certainty and give you more confidence in your own ability.
1: Unpack your value
One of the things I have learnt from my mentors recently, is that everyone is sitting on a mountain of value, but most of us haven’t taken time to unpack it properly. Often we look at surface level things such as skills and qualifications, rather than digging into the experiences that have shaped our life and the insights we have gained from those experiences. The best way to do this is to revisit your story and think about what lessons you have learned that you could teach other people.
2: Keep a success journal
This was one of the most useful and interesting journals I ever started. It takes the form of an Evernote document with all of the little wins and victories I have achieved over the past few years. Every time I reach a goal or create something of value, I put a note in with a description and the date. I then take time to look back through the list every month or so, to ensure I am appreciating what I have achieved. It makes me focus on my successes and not dwell on things which haven't worked or things I don’t have. This gives me a tremendous sense of certainty when I am doing anything that is related to those achievements.
3: Ask others where they think your value is
This can be one of the best ways to see value in yourself that you may have overlooked. You can ask friends, co workers or clients what they think your strengths are and what they would ask your advice about. This could even take the form of reviews, seeing someone explain first hand how you have helped them with their life or business can be a great way to create more certainty in the future.
4: Talk to other people who aren’t experts in your industry
Its easy to think that everyone knows as much as we do, especially when we only talk to people in our industry. Try talking about a subject you are interested in to someone who isn’t an expert in that field. This can be a great way to gain confidence in your knowledge and be certain that you really do know things that other people would find valuable. I had a sudden realisation how much I knew about psychology a while ago when I was talking to people who had similar experiences to me, but didn't quite understand how or why.
5: Imagine things happening before you do them
As I said earlier, certainty is created from within. If we imagine things going badly and constantly second guess things in our head, no matter what happens externally, we will never be 100% certain. However, if we create images of things happening the way we want them to, we will feel much more confident when entering that scenario in real life and bring with us a sense of certainty that can’t be created by external events.
Certainty is one of the most important elements of success, if you aren't certain about yourself, how do you expect other people to be. If you are ever experiencing self doubt and uncertainty, try revisiting the five points above.
Please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below!