The inner Ape & The Rules at Play.
There’s a classic scene in the 2008 movie Felon, where Stephen Dorff, just having arrived at prison after defending his house against intruders, meets the stone hard killer cell mate (Val Kilmer) with a clear ultimatum: Fuck or fight?
In society, most of us don’t have to make hard choices like that. And what a relief! But we need to respond to a number of situations and challenges on a daily basis. How do we know what rules to play by, and the possible outcomes? Are we free to make our own choices or are our responses due to our status and our position in the hierarchy which we find ourselves in?
What are the rules at play?
For a long time I have been a big fan of decentralized organizations. Flat and fluid structures; egalitarian, teal-colored and responsive. Many have fallen in love with the idea of working in free-flowing, bossless structures inspired by visionaries like Frederic Laloux or Ricardo Semler arguing that humans have no use for hierarchies. And yet, everywhere we turn there’s hierarchy. Just because it’s not always visible doesn’t mean it is not there.
Wherever there is a weak, malfuncioning formal structure, there is a lurking unformal hierarchy. Even supposedly egalitarian structures have their inner circles based on skills, social relations and performance. Someone always holds higher esteem within the group and more power to influence. And to succeed, we need to know how those hiearchies work and what rules are at play.
This is a tricky challenge.
How great it would be to live in a world where people can always be who they are meant to be. In reality, that’s not how things work and in most cases we have to battle all kinds of bullies and layers. More often than not, we have to fight the power to earn our rights, our freedom to grow and follow our beliefs. Even if status is based on positive human traits, we may feel constrained. Life is built on hierarchy but the dynamics can be very different in various groups. Hierarchy is a game of status, based on physical strength or size, social skills or character, sometimes even empathy and love.
To understand how this works, I think it’s interesting to look at our closest relatives, the great anthropoid apes.
In every human there seem to live one loving and caring bonobo and one agressive chimp. As a species, these our most close cousins look much the same but behave in very different ways. That’s because they never have to face each other in their natural environment, separated by the great Kongo river.
Bonobos and chimps organize very differently. Chimpanzees are ruled by agressive males and forceful conflict resolution, bonobos are ruled by females with strong character, resolving conflicts mainly by having sex. If you happen to be born a chimp or bonobo, you have to follow very different rules in order to achieve status. With humans, it seems to be we are having both systems at play, and that may also be one of the reasons to our success as a species. It also makes things more complicated, since we always have to figure out what rules are at play and since most of us are part of many different groups, we have to know how to always balance these forces we carry within us.
Fuck or fight? Is it code chimp or bonobo?
Society has evolved with the urge of humans on the one hand to care for, and love one another, and on the other hand to conquer and exploit others. We may have a big frontal lobe, but underneath we are still 99% apes. We all share a history of great love and great violence. Our ancestors were more likely to die from the hands of another human, than tornados or tigers. Yet, it is our ability to communicate, to cooperate that has brought us to where we are today. Hence the ability to be both chimp and bonobo has to be something of a secret weapon.
He who intuitively senses the appropriate response has the edge and he who makes the wrong assumption might not survive for long.
A large part of our brain is constantly occupied by analyzing how others behave or respond. It is a skill we train from the moment we are born and we do it without really thinking about it. Being part of the group has always been key to survival and thus the need to belong is as crucial to us as food and shelter. Society has effectively made us autonomous as individuals, we can now easily survive on our own. Yet more people die from loneliness than ever before. We do need to belong, and this means constant adaptation to different group dynamics.
Even if we do conclude we are part of a bonobo-style structure, there might be times when we have to bring out the chimp when faced with a threat. One example where this conflict of human nature is obvious is in the ongoing struggle for the future of humans and other species. Trump and Bolsonaro vs Greta Thunberg and Naomi Klein. Extraction vs regeneration. Competition versus cooperation. Ego vs Eco. Yes, there are times when we all have to bring out the chimp. Fight the power. Or we will all suffer dearly.
How much wisdom there is in action movies!
In the original 1987 Predator, at a critical point, Arnold concludes that We make a stand now, or “there will no one left to make it to the chopper”. That’s more or less were we are now with the future of the planet. It seems there is never enough love and care for the world, despite our capabilities. Why else do we keep harming our environment in order to make a few more bucks? Why do we allow dictators to rule and wage wars on their own people? Why colonize Mars, when we are already living on the perfect planet?
Women finally got the right to vote only after decades of sacrifice from female activists. The same could be said about the French revolution and the fight for black civil rights in America. One way or another, even the most loving at some point must also decide to fight. We need to ”get to the chopper” or die.
