Hollow Earth Radio is throwing a Time Travel Party this weekend and inviting all inter-dimensional date-drifters to partake of the good music and vibes of those currently living in the time-stream known as “Seattle in 2015*”. We are ready to reveal all of the exciting details to you — where to be, what to expect, what to wear, etc.
But first, we feel we need to clear something up….
When we unveiled the idea behind this party in our first installment, some of you, no doubt, thought that this was a ‘joke’. A publicity stunt or viral marketing tactic. But nothing could be further from the truth.
If you are even remotely open to the possibility that we are doing this for ‘realsies’, quickly you will see that everywhere you look the signs and portents indicate that there are actual portal-passing denizens donning their time-enabled flight gear and pointing their 88-mph speedometers to our current trajectory. You can just feel it. As the days grow shorter, it’s getting a little harder to dismiss what we’ve been saying, huh?
For instance: just this past Sunday, did you not feel like you ‘gained’ an hour or so, just seemingly “out of the blue”.
That’s was a little gift to you. A reminder of the flexibility of the clock-hand and the unpredictability of the sun rising and setting. Save that daylight, you’re going to need it for this shindig on Saturday.
It is — quite literally — going to rage for all time. ∞
And how, pray tell, do you explain this recent discovery by NASA??
You think it’s just “coincidence” that this amazing WTF discovery happened THIS VERY WEEK?
“Ok. Sure”.
But when it’s coupled with the multitude of puzzling occurrences that have been pouring in, a picture begins to emerge of what’s really going on: There is a mass migration of something that “science” is just not willing to take into consideration.
OUR GUESTS ARE ARRIVING
Here is a brief occurrence reposted from the #Time-Travel Slack channel where our team meets to discuss paranormal museumology and party planning best-practices. It starts with a dream from one of our operatives we’ll call “Smitty”:
Heads up team: Last night i woke up at 4am from a dream where I was at the [REDACTED] house and was talking about something called the ‘Black Light Satellite’. I sorta started waking up from the dream and had this strange feeling, like someone was passing a flashlight over my eyelids every time I closed my eyes.
So when I woke up this morning and was trying to research this satellite thing I had dreamt about, I actually came across a wikipedia article about it, and was struck by this sentence: ‘ According to Martina Redpath of Armagh Planetarium, it is more probable that the photographs [of the Satellite] are of a *thermal blanket* ….
So. It’s a space blanket……
Ok, so why is a ‘space blanket’ significant? Because, that is precisely the wallpaper that we used for our Time Travel Museum walls. A rather inexpensive material which we picked solely for its suitable shine and ‘futuristic’ feel.
But when we chose this fabric, we had no idea that — just like this so-called ‘Black Knight Satellite’ orbiting our planet — this specialized metallic material is also a well-known Time Travel facilitating medium that has been used for decades. In fact:
“The Black Knight is without a doubt one of the most talked about extraterrestrial objects orbiting our planet at the moment. When first sighted, it was thought to be a Russian Spy satellite, but this was very quickly dismissed. According to several researchers and scientists worldwide, this object is emitting a radio frequency that has been intercepted and even decoded. According to HAM Radio operator the Black Knight is actually transmitting an Alien message that has a connection with the Epsilon Bootes Star System. But the story goes back even more. One of the most interesting facts is that Nikola Tesla claimed to have intercepted radio signals, from space, from the Black Knight Satellite.”
Do you’re own research folks. You’ll no doubt find yourself falling deeper and deeper into other realization that this party is THE DESTINATION for a whole host of cosmic characters. We can’t help but feel we were simply meant to create a Time Travel Museum cube that would act as an attractor for these various Futurians; that we have inadvertently shined a huge BAT SIGNAL this whole time saying THE PARTY’S RIGHT HERE!
Furthermore, is there really any other explanation for the sudden increase in humpback/orca whale sightings in the Puget Sound area in close proximity to the actual Time Travel Party to be held this very Saturday night?
We’ll make sure to ‘save some [fruit punch] for the whales’.
Now for what you have been waiting for. The party details:
Where: Artspace Hiawatha Lofts, 843 Hiawatha Pl S, Seattle, Washington 98144
When: 8:00–11:30
What: Performances by Fabulous Downey Brothers, DoNormaal, and Dale Patchouli
Remember:
- Dress up like a time traveler so that *they* feel comfortable.
- Bring something for the time capsule, especially something that captures what it is like currently living in the #ShittyBiff Future
- Be open to donning our special pair of ‘voyager’ glasses to enter new realities in the snap of a finger.
- Partake in the ingestion of sacred Time Travel infused ‘Sauerkraut’, developed by Early Clues, LLC through a generous donation by OlyKraut. This fermented product has been programmed using special code that has been scripted right onto the label. Don’t believe us? Peruse and file bugs against our open-source project on github, here: https://github.com/HollowEarthRadio/OpenQNL/blob/master/scripts/time_travel_sauerkraut.qnl
- Buy a freaking ‘SHITTY BIFF SHIRT’, designed by Derek Erdman
FUTURES DOWN / BUY BUY BUY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- Above all else, be excellent to each other
Hollow Earth Radio looks forward/backward to your presence at our Nov 7, 2015 Time Travel Party. We will be accepting suggested donations of $10–??? to put towards our projected goal of acquiring a transmitter/antenna to begin broadcasting legally on the airwaves as 100.3 KHUH come March of 2016. Note: We also accept §Shadecoin and various time-stamped authentic ‘Almanacs’ as alternative forms of currency.
