Thanks for Traveling with TimeCruise!

Jake Christie
Published in
4 min readAug 20, 2015


Welcome back!

Thank you for taking a journey through the timestream with TimeCruise. Before you exit the chronostabilization chamber and rejoin your own timeline, please take a moment to fill out this survey. Your participation helps us create a better TimeCruise experience for future passengers, and ensures that we haven’t created any paradoxes that will crush the timestream out of existence, leaving only a timeless, matterless void that is devoid of all life, meaning and comprehension.

Thanks again for cruising TimeCruise!

Please indicate the time vessel you traveled on:

Timetanic | Chrono Sark
The Time Machine | U.S.S. Clockstitution

On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your experience with TimeCruise? _____

What was your favorite time period on the cruise?

Stone Age | Ancient Rome | Middle Ages
Elizabethan Age | Industrial Revolution | 1960s

During the Stone Age portion of the cruise…

Were you surprised by the lack of dinosaurs? Would the introduction of dinosaurs into this time period make you more likely or less likely to go on another TimeCruise?

Were you comfortable when you saw early homo sapiens in their natural environment, or should they be provided with (tasteful) loincloths?

While keeping your arms and hands aboard the time vessel, did you happen to see any butterflies? If yes: you didn’t touch them, did you?

During the Ancient Rome portion of the cruise…

Was there an Emperor you would have liked to spend more time observing?

Augustus | Tiberius | Caligula
Claudius | Other (please specify) | No Preference

Aqueducts: Awesome, right?

Did the railings provide sufficient protection, or do you think it would be helpful to have a “splash guard” during the orgies? (please keep in mind that the construction of a splash guard could result in an increased ticket cost and possibly obscure the view)

Was Caligula more or less disgusting than you expected?

While keeping your arms and hands aboard the time vessel, did any butterflies get on board? If yes: did anything happen to them?

During the Middle Ages portion of the cruise…

Were you surprised by the lack of dwarves, hobbits, elves, and wizards? Do you think the fact that these people are actually dressed quite similarly to characters in the Lord of the Rings movies is kind of a bait-and-switch?

What was your favorite song played by the bard?

You’ve now witnessed firsthand the devastation caused by the Black Plague, which killed between 75 million and 200 million people. It took Europe more than 150 years to recover from the plague, which left an indelible mark on the history of the modern world. Modern medicine has provided us with a cure, which we could use to help the people of Western Europe and avoid this catastrophic loss of life; however, doing so would change the course of modern civilization, perhaps erasing some of the great moments that humankind has achieved. Was this portion of the cruise gross enough that you think we should remove it?

Butterflies: did any get on board? Did you interact at all, even to shoo one away? This is actually very important, so please do your best to remember.

During the Elizabethan Age portion of the cruise…

On a scale of one to ten, how likely is it that that was the Queen’s real hair?_____

Did you enjoy the original ending of Hamlet? Do you think Shakespeare was right to change it?

Was the weather agreeable? Would you be more or less likely to go on another TimeCruise if the weather were more pleasant? (please note that a change in climate could increase the likelihood of certain small, winged insects interacting with the vessel)

During the Industrial Revolution portion of the cruise…

Did any engineers, architects, or artists seem to be sketching diagrams of the time vessel? If so, please contact us immediately if any modern conveniences in your own time seem to bear a striking resemblance to the time vessel.

Can you see why factory owners honestly thought it was a good idea to use children and their tiny hands and fingers to operate deadly machinery, or does this question make you uncomfortable?

The relationship between the pollution created by the Industrial Revoltuion and peppered moth is significant to evolutionary theory. The widespread pollution during this period blackened the moth’s wings, and the easier-to-spot lighter-winged moths died off from predation. The darker moths passed on their darker wings, changing the appearance of the species for all time. You didn’t squash any of these little guys, did you?

During the 1960s portion of the cruise…

What was your favorite band at the Woodstock music festival?

Ravi Shankar | Santana | The Who
The Band | Jimi Hendrix | Other (please specify)

Did things get too heavy for you?

Did you recognize your parents at any point? Did they see you? Did you interact? If yes, please inform us immediately if any part of your body seems to become translucent or fade away.

Do you think some sort of large net device would help keep the butterflies out?

Are there any other time periods you would like to see included on future cruises?

Boroque | The Beginning of Time | Colonial America
Ancient Greece | 1993 | Other (please specify)

Do you happen to know if any of these time periods have an unusually large population of butterflies? Because that could be a huge deciding factor.