You Don’t Have Memories to Look Back on Today

1 YEAR AGO TODAY

You didn’t go to that concert that you wanted to check out. Instead, you went to a party where your friend said you would get “100%” laid, “guaranteed.”

You got 0% laid. You went home and watched an episode of something on Netflix at 4 am.

2 YEARS AGO TODAY

Your mother invited you out to brunch, but you told her you were “too tired.” You were not too tired; you just didn’t want to explain to your mom, again, that being single is a choice, not a condition.

Whatever you did instead — probably involving some combination of Hot Pockets, situation comedy reruns, and masturbation (though not necessarily concurrently) — is lost to the winds of time.

6 YEARS AGO TODAY

A bear in the Alaskan wilderness has recently given birth to three cubs.

It was a hard year; there were fewer salmon in the rivers than there were in years past, and harsh weather meant fewer berries in the fall. She is gaunt, skinny—the fur hangs on her like an oversized hand-me-down parka. All of her energy, now…