Definitions: Sober, Sober Curious, Mindful Drinking, Alcohol-Free, Positive Psychology
While my coaching and writing are consciously crafted for sober + sober curious women and non-binary, I think that anyone and everyone can benefit from learning from practical, purposeful, and positive-psychology tools to live a life abundant in well-being.
Before getting too far into this blog, I wanted to take some time to define a few of the terms that I use quite frequently. For each of the words below, I share my personal definitions. Sometimes I use the dictionary, sometimes I don’t. This is my personal interpretation of this particular language and if you have different understandings of the expressions, reach out to me– I’d love to learn from you. Here it goes:
Sober: To be sober means that you don’t drink alcohol and you don’t participate in any other recreational drugs. (You’ve got this shit down and I am so proud of you.) To be sober means to live in a natural, comfortable, content state– a state where you feel perfectly you without the addition of substances. (Ok, except for maybe caffeine. I can’t get behind the statement that if you drink caffeine, you aren’t sober.)
Sober Curious: To be sober curious means to question your relationship with alcohol and to experiment with what your life is like with it and what your life is like without it. The term was first coined by Ruby Warrington in her book, Sober Curious. To learn more about this complexities in this simple curiosity, check out Ruby’s interview on Goop here.
Mindful Drinking: Like sober curiosity, to be a mindful drinker or to participate in mindful drinking is to pay attention to how alcohol shows up in and impacts your life. It doesn’t mean you’re alcohol-free, it means that you’re aware of what you’re drinking, how much you’re drinking, and what will happen if you drink too much. Cosmopolitan interviewed Laura Willoughby, founder of Club Soda, in August 2020 about mindful drinking. You can read the interview here. And, if you haven’t checked out Club Soda, it’s an amazing UK-based organization that offers support to and courses for those wanting to change their relationship with alcohol. As Laura says in the article, mindful drinking occurs when you take time “to evaluate your drinking habits and how they do (or don’t fit) in with the life you’d like to lead.”
Alcohol-Free: To be alcohol-free means that one doesn’t drink alcohol, but may imbibe in other substances and behaviors. (We all know what those substances and behaviors could be.)
Note: My belief is that sober curiosity is a pathway to mindful drinking and mindful drinking is a pathway to being alcohol-free and being alcohol free- is a pathway to being sober.
Positive Psychology: I’ve already thrown this term around a lot and you may already be wondering what the heck this means. There will be a formal post on what positive psychology actually is, but, for purposes of this post, positive psychology is defined as the “scientific study of optimal human functioning that aims to discover and promote the factors that allow individuals and communities to thrive.” Or, as Dr. Christopher Peterson put it: positive psychology is the study or what makes life most worth living. Positive psychology can teach us how to cope, how to overcome, and how to expand. I think there’s so much about living sober, sober curious, or alcohol-free that allows people to truly thrive. That’s why I’ve decided to bring my positive psychology world and my sober world together to support women and non-binary on their well-being journey.
Note: If there are other terms I use that you think need a dedicated definition on this post, let me know by emailing me here.
I hope these explanations help set the stage for my work and for this blog. If these definitions change over time or if I change my opinions about them, I will update this post. Now, without further adieu, LET’S POP THE CONFETTI CORK (I think that’s a thing?) AND START LIVING OUR BEST, MOST FUN LIFE.
With love, confetti, and mocktails:
BAILEY
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