Blessings upon gearhead cops — My 1973 Gran Torino Sport had the 163 horsepower 351 cubic inch Cleveland engine. Basically it was the same car as Clint Eastwood had in Gran Torino, except that his was a ’72. …

Either do I — I’m happy the damn thing still works. I can understand a lack of patience after so many years of putting up with me having supposedly more important things to do than to relieve its burden. I’m not working anymore, so there really shouldn’t be many circumstances that truly are more…

Sometimes the little woman can be a bit trying — This morning did not begin well. I admit to being a bit grumpy due to an unseasonable chill in the air and the fact that my wife of many decades chose to sleep in, leaving me to prepare my own morning meal. I had decided to overlook that, but when…

A Man recounts the decalogue to Her Pinkness, the Invisible Pink Unicorn I originally wrote this many years ago, so many that I have forgotten where. I wrote other tales about the Invisible Pink Unicorn then, but seem not to have copies of them.Sigh…

And the rest of those ridiculous day names — Listen up, because I’m only going to say this as many times as it takes to get it through your thoroughly muddled, overly distracted head. We need to get rid of these ridiculous stone-age inspired day names. I mean, seriously, Wed-nes-day? No, that didn’t come from that movie with Christina…

Or that could be water — Such a lovely month! Almost $200 from writing came in from last month’s tom-foolery and literary scalwaggery. As the hourly effort put into the production of these works seldom exceeds two hundred minutes per day, one can easily imagine what sort of rewards greater effort would return. Unfortunately, I lack…

But it will get you stared at sometimes — Perfume Can you imagine what it was like back a few hundred years when bathing was a rare event and flush toilets didn’t exist yet? Horses and every other animal did their business in the street and chamber pots might get dumped there too. …

A strange reversal of roles — See that photo? That’s what bread becomes when I toast it. It looks the same on the other side, by the way. I mention that because it will become important later. Making perfect toast is probably easy if you have something like this ridiculously expensive Japanese oven (not an affiliate…

None of this, not a whit, was my fault — I went out to grocery shop before 7:00 this morning. I was already in a foul mood because, duh, Tuesday, which is a really stupid word and look how it is spelled! Anyway, I was cold and angry when I pulled into a parking space at the store. As any…