Children in the online space: a way out of the cyberbullying
Even today, we still tend to think that bullying requires a personal presence or at least a phone call, but with the rise of internet use, online bullying has become part of our everyday lives. What can we do to ensure that our children do not become victims of such abuse and, if they do, that they can recover without injury?
Online harassment can take many forms, but in all of them, the abuse is indeed systematic and the abuser wants to show off his or her strength and power. It is common for abusive comments to be posted anonymously on social networking sites, often not only in text but also in the form of unflattering photos and montages. Surveys show that the majority of children consider cyberbullying to be a severe problem, more serious than physical or psychological abuse. The reason is that online bullying cannot be physically removed from the bully, and does not stop at weekends or during school holidays. Victims can be constantly messaged, their pictures can be uploaded to social networking sites over and over again, and as there are an infinite number of profiles that can be created, blocking the bully is not an option. Moreover, the fact that someone is being harassed on a public internet platform is visible to a large number of people, and any pictures uploaded can be seen by friends and teachers. This can make the child feel humiliated and depressed, not knowing how his or her environment will view what has happened.
Cyberbullying is also dangerous because it can make children feel just as bad as other forms of bullying, it can damage their self-confidence and self-esteem, and in severe cases, it can isolate them from their existing friends. Over time, children become anxious and tense and the constant stress affects their performance at school. They may start to avoid their friends and become distant from their parents. The warning signs to look out for are that constant stress can be detrimental to health in the long term, causing mental illness and real physical symptoms. The worst thing is when a teenager starts to blame himself and tries to overcome difficulties by self-harming behaviour, such as cutting himself. In very serious cases, the child may even end up trying to end his or her own life without a way out.
Because internet use is part of our lives, online bullying cannot be prevented by taking away children’s smartphones, not letting them use the computers, or asking them to delete or suspend their profiles on social networking sites. Nor is it right to read their mail and chat messages, as the situation cannot be controlled by such means. In addition, this kind of supervision takes away a child’s privacy and social contact, so he or she may feel that the parent is punishing rather than understanding. Instead, it is important to talk to your child about internet use, but not in a judgmental way: bring it up — regularly — and make it clear that whatever happens, they can share it with us, and we won’t criticise.
If it turns out that a child is already being bullied online, they should also be encouraged to dare to talk about it. To do this, they need to feel that as parents we are there for them, supporting them and trying to find a solution together. It is important to involve teachers and other family members in the communication, including the child’s friends, with special attention to those who know about the bullying, and who sense the problem but do not intervene. These conversations are important to ensure that the environment is not a passive bystander but supports the victim. The self-confidence and self-esteem of abused children must be strengthened. If necessary, help from a psychologist should be sought, and if cyberbullying continues, the problem should be reported to the authorities.
Of course, online bullying affects not only children but also their developing self-image, when they are looking for their place in the world anyway, they are the most vulnerable age group, so protecting and supporting them is particularly important. If anyone around you, whether a child or an adult, is experiencing a similar problem, pay close attention and do what you can to help before they become seriously traumatised.
References:
https://www.nspcc.org.uk/what-is-child-abuse/types-of-abuse/bullying-and-cyberbullying/
