What Doesn’t Kill You Make You Stronger
I love chilling on Chinese forums every night. Even though high-level science or macro knowledge is not my type, I believe it helps me be more open-minded.
For example, as a young lady, I know that we do not need to wash our face by hand in our time, nor do we need to go to a beauty salon for skin care treatments with advanced technology. With a hundred dollars, I can operate a mini spa at home with modern skin care equipment.
One day, I saw a new topic with no title or message. The content, development, ending, and message depended on personal thoughts and feelings. It was a short story that started with something like:
“3 years old, you learned to speak for the first time.”
“17 years old, you missed your most profound first love.”
“30 years old, under the urging of your parents and social pressure, you married the person you met a few times. There was no love, only harmony.”
“50 years old…”
“80 years old, you close your eyes. The chaotic sounds of the hospital are still in your ears, but you do not want to wake up anymore. Because in front of your eyes, the teacher is still lecturing, the sun is still shining through the window, the sound of cicadas is constantly ringing, and there is also a notepaper with smudged words crumpled in the desk drawer,… You see a shadow, a familiar figure, turning out that you are still only 17 years old.
I am not sure about the accuracy of my memories. But it is rough that you have gone through a whole life in the blink of an eye. At every age and every event in life, things may not turn out the way you want.
That story really touched my heart. The content is much more detailed than what I wrote. I was so excited that I spent an hour scrolling through each comment, discovering that the author is not overly romantic. Most people miss out on many precious things in life. Some people miss out on love, some miss out on youth, some trust the wrong person, and some people have unsatisfactory jobs.
It is all about that one word: “missed”
And the root cause of this mostly comes from the courage.
Try to say what you feel
Sometimes, we get scared of what might happen if we do something. I would do that, either. I’m more afraid of the consequences of speaking my mind than keeping quiet. This kind of thinking has made me miss out on many things.
Once, when I was still a trainee in an office, a colleague asked me to help with something she forgot to do the day before. Even though I was busy with my stuff, I felt pressure from my colleagues and boss who were present there. So, I ended up doing her work. But when I asked for her help later on, she refused without a reason. It made me angry, but then I realized that I don’t have to take on responsibilities that aren’t mine.
After that, I learned that it’s essential to speak up for myself and not take on other people’s responsibilities.
Care more for yourself
I have an older sister. Growing up, we’d often find ourselves in a bit of tension. The reason? I’d always let her have her way, no matter how big or small the decision. Over time, I grew tired of it, while she thought she was always right. It became a habit that she couldn’t break.
When I was younger, I was always slower than her, and I’d let her take the cake I wanted. As we grew up, it was the same. She’d always be the one to talk to our parents first about our arguments.
It took me a while to figure out why we had this problem. I was always scared that if I said or did something wrong with my sister, she’d be upset, or worse, like the same things I felt. But my sister wasn’t like that. She’s not that bad person, actually. It’s just that my behavior had influenced her habits, too.
Now, as I write this, I’m older and wiser. I know how to protect that part of me that felt left behind.
Make decisive choices
In the end, what separates our thoughts and actions are our choices. For what you want, do you choose to say or not say, do or not do?
Well, there’s a cool saying that goes, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”
I want you to remember it. Whenever you’re unsure about doing something, remember this quote. As long as it doesn’t hurt anyone, do not be afraid to do what you want or worry about things that haven’t happened yet. However, make a promise, only keep that quote if your actions don’t affect or hurt others in any way.
