How Self-Doubt Sabotages Your Potential
Many people struggle with the idea of promoting themselves. I am no exception. The thought of boasting about my skills or accomplishments makes my stomach churn. But I can tell you that keeping a low profile and hoping your boss will approach you one day with a huge promotion and big, fat raise isn’t likely to happen.
Most of the time you have to put yourself out there in order for your accomplishments to be recognized and rewarded. Whether you’re a business owner wanting to attract more clients or a blogger looking to gain more followers — promoting yourself is essential to moving ahead and getting what you want in life.
What is self-doubt, and why does it hold such power over people?
Self-doubt can present itself differently for everyone.
Do you worry that your colleagues will roll their eyes at your new idea? That’s probably your fear of judgment creeping up. Or maybe you’re worried that you don’t have enough expertise to start your blog and that it might come off as self-important. That’s a combination of worrying you’re not knowledgeable enough and feeling like you don’t have anything valuable to offer (see Imposter Syndrome[1]).
There’s a whole host of other ways that self-doubt can manifest.
Recognizing the underlying cause of your self-doubt is the first step in liberating yourself from it. Once you can identify the thoughts that underlie your feelings of self-doubt, you can begin to challenge the negative thought patterns that are holding you back from your highest potential.
How can you move past the fear and self-doubt that prevents you from shining your brightest?
Forbes contributor Margie Warrell wisely points out that we shouldn’t try to eliminate self-doubt; instead, we should reclaim the power it has over us.
Okay, so how the heck do we do that? I recommend reading her article[2], but here are the two points that resonated with me:
Call out your critic. Warrell advises that you give your inner critic a name (like Doubting Debbie) so that you can call it out when it begins to rear its ugly head.
Your inner critic is that scared part of you that continually questions your worthiness and ability. The idea is that by giving it a name, you distinguish your doubting self from your real self.
My inner critic is always whispering (more like yelling) in my ear. While I’m still undecided on a name for her, I’m learning to distinguish the critical voice that tends to take over from the more productive voice that tells me my abilities and ideas have value.
Make your mission bigger than your fear. In other words, Warrell suggests, get clear on your big “Why” in order to find the courage to overcome the self-doubt that stops you from achieving your goals.
This tip struck a chord in me. I’m a big advocate of reaching full potential, living life to the fullest, and helping others; but my self-doubt is continually holding me back — from writing a book, starting a new career, and other areas in my life. It seems like what I struggle with is the antithesis of what I stand for, which is being fearless when it comes to goals.
So, when I think of what good I might be able to impart by following through with my goals, I worry less about my fear of failing. In other words, if you don’t put yourself out there, others could miss out on the value you have to offer them.
In the end, you’re doing yourself a disservice by downplaying your abilities or keeping your ideas safely tucked away in your mind.
Never taking a risk and putting yourself out there — that’s the real shame.
How do you deal with self-doubt? Has it ever held you back in a big way? I’d love to hear from you!
[1] http://time.com/5312483/how-to-deal-with-impostor-syndrome/
[2] https://www.forbes.com/sites/margiewarrell/2017/12/09/doubt-your-doubts/#121be990151a