The Balancing Act: Life and Its Demands

The alarm goes off before the sun is even up, you hit the snooze button one too many times before rolling out of bed, half asleep, snapping at your partner to help get the kids up. Your immediate priority is to turn on the coffee machine — before even opening your eyes.

After a chaotic morning, you drive 45-minutes to work and literally don’t remember the drive. You down a second (or third) cup of coffee for breakfast. Before you know it, it’s 3 PM and you realize you forgot (didn’t have time) to eat lunch, so you grab something sugary and chase it with a cup of coffee.

When you finally arrive home, your evening includes dinner preparations, help with homework, getting kids ready for bed, preparing for the next day, and…oops you forgot to eat dinner. After digging through the freezer, you microwave some type of sodium loaded dinner and pour yourself some wine. Eventually, you crash into bed far too late to get any decent amount of sleep.

Does the scenario above describe a typical day in your life?

Life balance.

It’s something we promise ourselves we’ll one day achieve (probably around retirement). Between work demands, home responsibilities, family commitments, and social obligations, we rarely find time to even go to the bathroom let alone focus on ourselves.

But have you ever paused and considered the adverse effects of a nonstop, stress-laden lifestyle? Well of course not, who has time to do that?! Since you’re here, allow me to break it down for you.

What exactly is “life balance”?

The term itself is self-explanatory — it’s a balance between the time you spend on your work, family, social and other obligations, and on yourself. While the notion of balance is pretty straightforward, finding the right balance can be a bit more challenging.

What does balance look like?

Unfortunately, there is no clear-cut answer to this question. It varies from person to person. The key is finding the balance that’s a good fit for you.

For example, if your work is something that you love to do and it energizes you, then spending a lot of time focusing on your work may not be a bad thing. However, if your work drains you, then you may want to make sure you’re finding enough time to do things that will rejuvenate you, so you don’t burn out. Sounds easy, right? Of course, it’s not. But it is necessary for your health and well-being to make sure you have the right balance in your life.

What are the effects of an unbalance?

An unbalance in one area of life (e.g., overcommitting your time with work or social functions) can lead to too much stress. Too much stress can have negative effects on your physical and mental health.

According to the Mayo Clinic[1], stress has a harmful impact on your body, mood, and behavior. Here are some ways it can manifest:

· Physical: headaches; muscle tension; fatigue; stomach upset; sleep problems

· Mood: anxiety; lack of motivation; irritability; feeling overwhelmed; depression or sadness

· Behavior: over/under eating; anger; alcohol, tobacco, drug abuse; social withdrawal

If you’re like most people (including me), you probably experience several of the above symptoms of being overstressed.

I have always been someone who struggled to find “balance” in life. I hustled for many years with full-time work, a long commute, night classes, family commitments, and social obligations — striving to give 110% in all areas. I rarely made time for self-care.

As I edge closer to 40 years old, I’m starting to see and feel both the physical and mental health effects of living a nonstop lifestyle for so many years. We live in a competitive, “don’t stop until you drop” kind of world. However, “dropping” from exhaustion by the time I’m fifty is not exactly what I want for my life.

So, I decided to make some lifestyle changes, including meditating (well, attempting it at least), yoga, and keeping a personal journal where I can process things and/or curse out my boss. I also learned to say “no” when I’m feeling overwhelmed and have too much on my plate. It’s not easy to set boundaries, but constant stress, anxiety, and never feeling well isn’t any easier. I’m getting better at setting boundaries and not feeling guilty for it.

How do you strike the right balance for yourself?

Deborah Jian Lee, a contributor at Forbes, offers some great advice that can help you get started on finding a balance that works for you. Out of her six tips[2], these are the three that resonate the most with me, and maybe they do for you too:

· Let go of perfectionism. Being “perfect” is unrealistic and out of reach. Moreover, striving for it can be destructive. Instead, aim for excellence.

· Unplug. Turn off your phone and shut down your laptop. Those notification alerts trigger stress signals in your body.

· Exercise. Nothing new here — endorphins still make you feel good, and you get them when you move.

I tend to struggle with each of the three points above, so I know this is where I need to focus and make some improvements. As I mentioned, I started to meditate, do yoga, keep a journal, and say no when I feel I’ve overcommitted myself. I asked some friends/colleagues how they find balance on a daily basis. Here are some of their responses:

“I use the time I commute to and from work to listen to motivational books on CD or podcasts. I find this puts me in a mentally good place when I arrive at work as well as when I get home.”

“I make sure I take a 30-minute lunch break every day, eat something nutritious, sit outside and stare at something other than my computer.”

“I hit the gym at least two days a week and one day on the weekend. This helps me feel better both physically and mentally.”

Remember, balance looks different for every individual. It’s vital that you take time to figure out the right balance for yourself; otherwise, the adverse effects can be detrimental to your career, your family, or your health.

So, carve out at least 30 minutes a day and do something that rejuvenates you — no excuses!

[1] https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/stress-symptoms/art-20050987

[2] https://www.forbes.com/sites/deborahlee/2014/10/20/6-tips-for-better-work-life-balance/#7034b32229ff