We researched the best #LifeHacks for a happier life so you don’t have to — Vol. 1: Relationships

All you have to do is put them into practice.

Time stops at this exact moment and you are asked: Are you happy?

Think about the answer. It is hard to reply, millions of different thoughts may come to your mind… “yes but…” , “I will be as soon as…” and others…

Think of a second scenario. You are holding your newborn baby for the first time — time stops, you get the same question: Are you happy right now? Without meaning to be presumptuous, the answer that would flow out of you would most likely be a strong “yes.”

What lies in between those two scenarios?

While waiting for something big to happen and change our lives radically, we realize that our time can’t be wasted by keeping our lives on hold. Undeniably, those big moments will appear, those moments when everything is brought into perspective, when you know you are happy because you feel it, because it just overwhelms you. Those are the moments when you say: “how can’t I be happy right now?” Those moments are pure perfection, worthy of the eternal freezing of time…

But, reality check: life is not only those moments. There is so much more in between. The truth is that those big moments occur so seldom compared to the small ones. Statistically speaking, they are non-significant.

When researchers find in their results that they are considered statistically non-significant, it means that they reached an outcome that can’t be generalized, that is not “significant” enough. It is the same with those happy moments, however powerful they may be — they themselves are not statistically significant enough to represent an overall happy life.

Therefore, our goal should be to make each and every moment that passes a moment that we can be proud of, a moment where we are happy, satisfied, content. To make our small happy moments statistically significant.

As the ancient Greek saying goes: “repetition is the mother of all knowledge.” So, let’s repeat what we kind of already theoretically know, in order to really feel it, and then, apply it:

Happiness is a lot of small things done well, day by day.

Positive Psychology as its own branch of psychology is very young, but much progress has been made in such short time. In the following list, we have gathered and organized the best (science-based) life hacks for happier life.

But before we begin our attempt to unravel the great mystery of happiness, let’s keep in mind what Nancy Etcoff, an HMS assistant professor of Psychology atMassachusetts General, said:

“Happiness is a big umbrella term that can mean different things to different people […] we can view happiness in at least three ways — as a hedonic state, as a cognitive state, or as a general life philosophy. Happiness, then, can refer to a way of thinking, such as being optimistic; a way of feeling joy, pleasure, relief, or gratitude; or simply a way of being” -Nancy Etcoff

Happiness is indeed subjective. If we ask 10 people what they think happiness is, then with certainty we will get at least 5 different definitions. Whatever the definition of happiness, we have gathered the most important pathways to being happy.

When it comes to relationships…

Research has found that emotions (much like diseases!) can be contagious, meaning they can be transmitted through social networks. This finding not only interests us because it contributes to a better understanding of how our mood is affected by other people, but also because it pushes us to be accountable for our feelings, good or bad. Because they have an impact, not only on us, but also on the people who surround us (knowingly or not).

In order to lead sustainably happier lives, we have to grasp the extent to which our actions have on others, but also accept how they accept us. If we surround ourselves with people who have the habit of complaining and being dissatisfied with their lives, sooner or later we may adopt this pattern ourselves. Instead, if we are in the presence of happy and motivated people (they don’t have to be your typical Polyannas though), their happiness and motivation will be transmitted to us. These findings have been validated by various studies. One such study that came out of Harvard Medical School proved that hanging out with one social contact increases your happiness levels by 15%!

Have 5 close relationships:

Forming bonds with other people and having a close relationship with your loved ones is an important aspect of being happy. Research is coherent on the opinion that there is a strong correlation between close relationships and quality of life (and even longevity!).

One of the founders of Positive Psychology, Mihaly Csikszentmihaly, in his book “Finding Flow: The Psychology of Engagement with Everyday Life” states:

“National surveys find that when someone claims to have 5 or more friends with whom they can discuss important problems, they are 60 percent more likely to say that they are ‘very happy’”

Five friends may be the acceptable average of close relationships, but, as always, quality is more valuable than quantity. However many close relationships one may have, happiness is only achieved when he/she truly puts in effort, if he/she sincerely invests in maintaining and strengthening the bond. By making the bond stronger with the other person, you receive, at the same time, a boost of happiness.

Express your gratitude to your loved ones:

How many times have you thought about how thankful you were for the presence of a close friend, for their support, or for a very small good deed that someone did for you?

…now, narrow it down to how many times you actually said thank you for this.

Multiple researchers, and especially Robert Emmons — an expert in the field of gratitude — have found out that the externalization of gratitude makes people happier. Not only because it reinforces positive emotions and underlines the positive in the world, but also because it strengthens relationships (remember the importance of relationships from above!).

Don’t say thanks for the wrong reasons though. Be honest. Be sincere because your intentions will be translated. If they are fake, the results will be fake. But if it’s authentic, it’s going to be translated in a wave of warmth that will take over both you and the other person.

Happiness, however, is not only dependent on the relationships we form with other people. Stay tuned for the second volume of this text!

Written by N.L.

Feeling thankful for this text? Clap to express your gratitude and to spread the word around.

Share on social media and join our cause to make the world a happier place…

In case you need more structured and detailed guidance on how you can lead a sustainably happier life, find out more with our Christmas give-away: a free mini 3-week Workout! Find out more here.

And more about the original Workout here.