5 Reasons Why the Trailer PROVES the Next Star Wars Is the 1st Great Film of the 21st Century (#3 Will ENTHRAL You)

So the mightiest minute and a half of cinematic footage since Lawrence decreed ‘No Prisoners!’ is out. It’s been greeted — rightly, justly, rapturously — by world nerdarinos. Typical is this analysis from Forbes’ nerd whisperer, Todd Kenreck —5 Reasons Why The 'Star Wars: Rogue One' Trailer Is So Important.

Yeah, nah. Kenreck’s way too verbose and in any case misses the point. In the spirit of concision, of less is more — of ramping my reads-to-views ratio up — here are 5 better reasons why this’ll be the finest film in 50 years.

1. Darth Vader

My Sweet Lord. He’s back!

2. AT-AT Walkers

Shitloads of them. Shooting shit up.

3. (Hopefully) Darth Vader inside an AT-AT Walker blasting rebel scum

Okay. So in this still shot from the new film he’s outside the Walker. And he seems to be back on Hoth. But he’s still leading from the front. Great man!

4. Darth back on the Ventolin

5. The return of David Prowse

He’s a lovely, lovely man who hasn’t been treated well.

Key KFC: If Rogue One: A Star Wars Story tells us anything, it’s that Gareth Edwards is the next David Lean.