We All Lie
Kids lie. Adults lie. Everyone does it. We all lie.
The first lie.
It starts out seemingly small, negligible, insignificant. You’re just testing the ground. It was probably something along the lines of I didn’t do it, whether that be hit your brother, eat dirt, break your mom’s favorite vase. The words, although foreign to your mouth, fall out easily, instinctively. But your mom saw you pulling your sister’s hair. Now, that makes you a liar, caught in the act. Ah, so there are rules to this game you’ve started to play. The rules of a liar. They are simple and few. If no one saw it happen, it didn’t. Easy.
Then it gets more complicated.
There’s broken glass in the living room. Weren’t you playing in there? You must have done it. No, I was playing outside. The lie deepens. A false alibi.
If it wasn’t you then who was it? I don’t know, maybe Freddy. I think he was playing in there. Placing blame. Making someone else take the fall. This is a dangerous game to play. But it’s too late to go back now. You went through a one way door. A trap.
In the end you’re discovered. Freddy saw you playing with the glass figurine earlier. You’re in even more trouble for lying about it.
Next time, and there’s always a next time, you cover your tracks better. You don’t get caught. You’ve gotten better at this. And it’s a useful skill to have.
There are many reasons to lie. So you don’t get in trouble, to feel empowered, to comfort others, or even to hurt others. When arguing with your mother you yell three vicious words. I hate you. It’s a lie, not the truth, but it still hurts her, nonetheless. A stinging wound that’s difficult to heal. Of course, that is a very malicious use for a lie.
Many of us lie because we are just people pleasers who want to avoid conflict as much as possible and make others happy. Like when you can’t help the surprised expression on your face when you see your friend has chopped her gorgeous locks. You got a haircut!? So cute! Or when you run into someone you really don’t want to talk to. We have to catch up soon, but I have to run right now. Got an appointment in ten. And then when they call to catch up and you don’t pick up. Seven times. Sorry, I lost my phone.
Lying is a way of life. Not major lies that drastically change and affect people’s lives. Actually, quite the opposite. Seemingly small and insignificant white lies are used when the truth might start trouble or cause someone pain. Harmless fibs really. Like saying that you’re busy when you really just don’t feel like seeing anyone.
We lie everyday and sometimes we don’t even do it on purpose. We don’t even give it a second thought. Your mother asks if you’re doing your homework. Of course I am. Meanwhile some RPG is splayed across your screen.
We even often lie to total strangers when greeted and asked “How are you?” Fine, thanks. But you’re not actually fine. It seems silly to think of sharing your concerns of the day with a stranger, but that doesn’t change that you’ve just lied to them. This sort of lying seems to be a way of life that we’ve been trained to follow, part of the running of society. A polite lie. Just like pretending to like a present. Something similar would be laughing at someone’s not so amusing joke in an attempt to help them save face.
We all lie. But the reason behind the lie is what’s important. If you’re lying to be kind and save someone else some embarrassment it’s not always such a bad thing. But getting caught could make them feel even worse than if you’d been honest from the start. So be careful what you say.
We all lie. Knowing when not to is the trick.
