When to actually suck up your pride
And what it’s like to be honest and grateful as an entrepreneur
I come into contact with a number of young entrepreneurs on a daily basis. It’s amazing to hear their stories that spawn from day one of idea conception through that current moment. At the end of the recap, I always ask them how they’re doing.
And how are you feeling right now?
Ninety percent of the time, they respond with something like,
“I feel amazing!”
“Onwards and upwards!”
“All is good! Maybe a bit tired, but killing it!”.
The other ten percent tends to take a deep breath before responding. Typically I see them mold on a plastered grin, and meekly say,
“Scared.”
“Relieved.”
I want to say that I get it. Over the course of two years, I myself had left a newly-acquired company that spanned the globe, joined someone to launch a mobile payments app (built a small team and raised capital), worked in micro-venture capital, and then went on to start a law firm.
I’m not going to piece together the timeline now, but there was an underlying theme throughout the majority of that time period that can by encapsulated with the term terrified.
I was jumping into a bunch of projects, and seeing which idea would stick against the wall. I wasn’t technical, anywhere near family, and had no savings from the entry-level salary I had been making.
Let’s be realistic here. There’s a massive emphasis on no savings. I was scraping by on the monetary contribution my cofounder and personally delegated to the buildout of the app, and was working contracted gigs on oDesk to make rent payments.
However, I put on my own plastered grin, and went out into the harrowing world of the San Francisco social scene as a naive, young entrepreneur.
I learned a few things over an expeditious period of time that got me to the much more zen mindset that I’m in today - where I’m lucky to say that our team has prospered with a high-growth trajectory. What I took out of it are the elements to being honest both inwardly and out, and how I learned to appreciate the whole whirlwind.
10 Ways to Be Honest & Grateful as a First-Time Entrepreneur:
- Realize that you’re a very small tadpole in an absolutely massive aquarium. I’m not going to say pond, because there is a microscope on the entrepreneur game that leads to very public sentiments at times. No, you’re probably not killing it at first. Stop having that attitude with everyone you face. You must learn to connect with people and also to suck it up. Take feedback and be receptive to it. Let’s remember that not all feedback is good feedback; it may be completely shitty. Filtering and biases are necessary.
2. Have both one year and backup plans. Where do you see yourself (and your company, if applicable) in one year? If your plan doesn’t work out, where do you think you’ll land?
3. Determine a budget for living costs over the first 6 months. I frequently read articles that recommend not to leave your job unless you have about 4 months of runway before you’re maxing out credit cards and praying against eviction. I say be prepared for 6 months, because there are the few unexpected thousand dollars that every entrepreneur typically doesn’t expect to allocate towards building the business (i.e. business cards, shmooze dinners/coffee meetings, incorporation filings, contractors, business traveling, etc.).
One of the biggest red flags I’ve seen are the folks that rely on raising investment as their way to salvation. This is so wrong, in so many ways.
4. Decide on health insurance. Figure out whether or not you’re eligible for COBRA, etc, and if not, what will make you most comfortable? Do you frequent the doctor often and want to play it safe by subscribing to an independent plan (or hop on your parents membership, if possible)? Do you consider yourself an untouchable virus-proof ninja? Ask everyone for advice— insurance is no joke, and something that shouldn’t be blown off.
5. Inform those close to you. You don’t need to go telling your entire extended network the details of your startup and what it’s all about. But have some decency to tell your close relatives, best friends, and significant others that you plan to venture off to begin a company and that there will be restraints for some time while you figure it all out. These people have always, and will always, continue to support you, no matter what. And who knows, there may be significant upside to the feedback you receive after your grandmother spilled the beans to your fourth cousin (who happens to manage a family office out of Singapore!? …Possibly a stretch).
6. Reach out to your mentors, and seek new ones. If you’ve been lucky enough to have kept close relations to someone you consider a mentor figure, let them know what you’re up to. Be transparent, tell them that you’re either scared, full of anxiety, or just winging it. Look to those that you respect as well-rounded individuals who you think are doing something right, and tell them. Take coffee dates (just don’t waste time), be vulnerable and grateful for all the support you receive.
7. Think of what will keep you grounded. Whenever I have a slight panic attack (this tends to happen when I’m sporadically alone), I think to myself, you’re okay, you’re healthy, everyone’s healthy and okay. I’m really lucky to be able to say this. Repeating this reminds me that in the moment, everything’s actually fine — I just need to calm the fuck down and find a solution.
You can breathe. Be grateful for what you have, and for what makes you smile. A couple seemingly unsolvable bugs in testing phase won’t mean that your world is bound to crash down.
8. Be prepared to be tenacious. No one is here to give you handouts, and no one will read your mind. You have to realize that no one is obligated to hear you out, nor offer their help. You have to be transparent with people, because beating around the bush will get you no where.
There is a difference between a genuine salesman and a genuine asshole.
9. Learn from every new encounter. This is paramount. Don’t ever discount someone by first impression. Always remember that every human in this world knows something that you don’t. Your goal is to figure out how to best relate to people of all kinds, no matter what line of business you’re in.
10. Know that you’ll have to prove yourself by paying it forward (and kissing ass). Going back to the first point, you have to earn your dues and realize that most people won’t make time for you. You’re starting from scratch, so this means that you have to be creative and add value for those you’re seeking attention from.
How can you help them immediately? Keep this in your mind at all times.
Prime example; meeting an investor who inevitably informs you that it won’t be a good fit. There are many reasons why every level of investor can’t move forward to join you — economic, timing, conflict of interest, etc. Don’t let this get you down. If you want to keep ties with people like this, add value. They had to have told you what they were looking for. Shoot them recommendations, keep up the conversation.
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The consensus here is that in the last few years, I’ve come to value humility over anything else. Confidence may come as either easy or difficult for you personally, but bear in mind that the most genuine storyteller always has the most captive audience.
