The Art of not being Creepy
How to get by without being labelled a creep.
So I’d tweeted a few weeks ago about the common struggle that most business owners go through while building their company — The Art of not being labelled a Creep while selling, pitching, raising funds, networking, hiring, building a team, creating a culture..
And I was told this might be a good topic to write a post on.
So here’s a few pointers that I’ve learnt over the years, being a salesman, a business owner, a startup founder, a struggling bootstrapper, and a relationship builder.
How to talk about your startup without looking creepy:
Most startup founders almost immediately talking about their startup / business plans to people they’ve just met.
By contrast, most established / lifestyle business owners don’t talk about their business until asked directly.
Most people employed by large corporations are almost always generic and evasive about what they do even when asked directly.
DON’T TALK ABOUT YOUR STARTUP UNTIL ASKED ABOUT.
Most people do not understand startup enthusiasm and find the excitement, that founders have for their work, surprising and sometimes, excessive. For them, conversation is more about leisure activities, family, sports, politics, local news, entertainment, and suchlike. Most office colleagues love to indulge in office gossip.
My wife is a corporate professional and has been for 12 years now. I’ve never ever heard her talk about her work in detail when she’s at home. She may talk occasionally about culture issues and/or some incidents, she never brings her work home.
Contrast this with me, and I live, eat, breathe and sleep my startup. It’s all consuming for me. I have no time for petty politics, incidents, small anecdotes while I’m building out the next big thing. And I always bring my work wherever I go.
In such a scenario, I’ve learnt (painfully) that its best to talk less about concepts, pitches, and/or strategies, and talk more about people, incidents, situations and other humdrum stuff that we encounter daily. This makes for far better conversation and offers a chance to draw the participants into a dialogue, while staying relevant to you.
How to network and avoid being labelled a creep:
A big portion of a Startup’s success can be attributed to how a founder makes connections, and build relationships throughout the ecosystem. I’ve written about how to create your network on Medium here, this is a small corollary to that piece.
GIVE FREELY AND EXPECT NOTHING OTHER THAN CONNECTIONS FROM YOUR NETWORK.
While establishing yourself is very important, it’s equally important to remember that your reputation hinges on not being creepy.
The best way to leverage your network to find contacts, it’s best to transact with people 1 level away from your direct network. IMHO, Its easiest to be business-like with people who are 1 connection removed from you.
So, if you’re looking to ramp up sales and need to pitch a company, you could ask your friend working there to suggest the right person to pitch, but be wary of directly pitching your friend. A number of professional and personal emotions will complicate the business transaction.
Similarly, if you’re looking to pitch a VC, best not to pitch those who are your contacts, friends, or in your 1st degree network. Since they’re already informed on what you’re building and working on, it’s best to wait for them to reach out to you first. It’s better to ask for references to whom you can pitch to. That makes it easier for all parties involved if there’s a rejection.
How to hustle sales without looking creepy:
When scoping out a potential B2B deal, once you’ve identified the key person in the organisation, a great way to build a rapport is to start gathering information on the person.
For non-creepy B2C sales, there’s some great tips out there for non-invasive B2C sales strategies although companies like Google and Facebook have completely trashed the idea of consumer privacy.
Linkedin (while viewing a profile “anonymously” is creepy, people still wont know who you are, so *YOU* cannot be called a creep), Quora, Facebook, Twitter, asking other startup founders, and other channels can provide valuable information on the key person’s likes, dislikes, political leanings, personal pet peeves, world views and his/her general outlook. Using this info subtly can often prove to be a deal maker and help you build a great personal relationship with your prospect.
So, for example, if you find the person has posted his/her requirement for a roommate on “Flats without Brokers” on Facebook, now you know that he/she lives alone in Mumbai, just casually talking about ‘How tough it is to be away from family, finding an apartment, living alone in Mumbai’ could start an interesting conversation where you could find ways to help them out.
Or, you find out that they enjoy cricket, just talking about Sachin Tendulkar retiring, and wanting to see the Wankhede test match could open up an interesting sports conversation.
Of course, when used badly, or clumsily this could possibly lead to being called a stalker, or worse. But in most cases, what you’ve done is taken the effort to build a relationship without being creepy or intrusive.
How to hold people’s trust without being creepy:
With a lot of connections, a lot of hustling, a lot of networking, comes a whole lot of information.
Most of it is confidential. Some of it is non-trivial. Some of it could be googled.
Recently, I saw a StartupCentral article retweeted by Kris Nair that talked about Unilazer and Omidyar backing Anand Lunia’s IndiaQuotient fund.
The article also mentioned that they’d funded Wishberg. It was in the 3rd paragraph and almost a footnote.
I copy-pasted that part and tweeted it here with a *slight* difference:
Was this creepy? I think not. It unleashed a PR barrage for Wishberg that can only be good for their growth.
Contrast that with sharing tips with journalists on sensitive info that founders share with you. Thats just really creepy and pissing off.
Most of the time, you’ll stumble onto data that you realise is sensitive, and revelatory about startups. The truth behind their financials, the actual struggles behind their operations, the pain behind their struggles. That’s their story to tell, or to withhold. Not yours.
So here’s to being Awesome and Not being Creepy.
utekkare,
Pranay
