Time is the Key

Why spending time together is the key to successful relationships

In this day and age of smart phones, email, text messages and instant messages, time together seems to get replaced by “communication” in other forms. I have noticed that the closer you get to someone the less satisfying those forms of communication are. In fact, they seem to actually cause arguments. Why is that?

The Facial Expressions

When you communicate via a phone or a computer you just don’t see the other person. You miss out on facial expressions and other things that cause you emotional reactions. Likewise, they cannot see your facial expressions either. There are definitely times that seeing those facial expressions actually helps to avoid arguments.

Facial expressions are an unspoken form of communication. They tell the other person things like what you are thinking, how you are taking what they are saying, etc. That non-verbal communication keeps things calm.

The Smile

People have a tendency to smile when they like what you are saying. That is another non-verbal clue for better communication. If you are telling someone something important or sensitive their reaction is going to determine how you react and how much you reveal to them. The smile goes a long way towards helping with that.

Physical Presence

When you are present with someone you are able to experience the facial expressions and the smile, but the physical presence is the most influential. They can touch your arm, your face, your back and you can do the same to them. The physical presence creates an intimacy that changes how you think and act. It is the key to making any kind of relationship work—spending time together.

I will submit that this is why long-distance relationships do not work very well. They do not get enough of the physical presence time that is necessary to make it work. Without ample physical presence time a relationship will eventually fail. That is my opinion based upon the experiences I have had.

Agree or Disagree

It doesn’t matter if you agree with me or disagree with me, so long as you think about what I am saying to you. Think about the times that you’ve had conflict in a new relationship. What caused it? Had you been spending enough time together? Where did your conflict begin—text, email, instant message? Think about these things and make adjustments. If the relationship is important to you then you will do what it takes.