Why I’m leaving New York
Oh New York. You’ve been my home for 6 years, through college and internships, from my first full-time job as a consultant to my current one in private equity. Many of the best stories I have to tell involve you — and certainly most of the worst. I’ve experienced an innumerable amount of firsts inside of your borders and now carry an approach towards life that can be called distinctly New York.
Take my 2nd day in New York for example. After a heart-wrenching goodbye to my parents the day before, having moved into my new dorm in the Financial District, I rushed to get to orientation at NYU in the West Village. Not being comfortable enough with the subway systems yet, I took a taxi. My mistake of course — as was pulling out a ‘Welcome to NYC’ map in the cab to give directions to my cabbie, who must have smelled easy prey. After a half an hour cab ride, taking the scenic view, he yelled at me for my 20% tip and ended up getting close to 50%. My bad for not knowing better — but that changed. Fast. Living here quickly teaches you the unspoken rules of conduct — know where you’re going, say it quickly, and never ask ‘Is that enough?’
New York makes you hard. It teaches you to be independent, to trust your judgments, to never go after something that looks too good to be true, and to go after what you want. Ambition and drive is rewarded, all too well documented by books and on film. Even hot dog vendors will size you up before giving you a price — and if you’re ok with paying $3 for a dirty water dog, so are they:
I soon realize that no item on his cart has a fixed price. “You see, it’s $1.50 for him,” Ayman says, gesturing toward a Jersey Dad, who is enjoying a hot dog with sauerkraut, “but not for everybody. Sometimes $2, sometimes .75. Depends how they look.” (Source)
You learn very quickly to be the jaded New Yorker that people talk about, not because it’s cool, but because you have to.
I’m leaving New York first and foremost because that’s not the person I want to turn into. A non-New Yorker friend recently observed that I tend to act defensive towards cabbies, as if I look for reasons to get confrontational. It’s true that I prepare for the worst, but it’s a natural reflex of survival honed from experience — and the cabbie did indeed try to rip us off at the end. That isn’t how I want to approach the world though. I’d like to be the person that looks at everyone and automatically assumes the best. Maybe I’ll get hurt here and again, but considering the chances that I’ve missed out on developing some great relationships over the years due to a semi-paranoia to strangers, it seems like a small price to pay.
I’m also leaving New York because being here has made me myopic in focus on money and prestige. All throughout college, I’ve been surrounded by peers and mentors who have idealized the high-paying jobs in finance. Private equity and hedge fund investors were our idols, and everyone wanted a job in investment banking to get there. We bought into sentences like “I’m looking for a challenging work environment like M&A because of the steep learning curve and the opportunity to make a real impact on the world” and “Yes, I’m more than happy to work 90+ hours a week”. When we finally got here, life isn’t that great. Very few people are happy, and the money? The money is thrown around for bottles and clothing to help us forget about the dullness of work, sitting in front of excel sheets and powerpoint slides, making impact primarily to the monetary wealth of institutional funds and already wealthy individuals. New York lusts after wealth, not happiness and fulfillment, and it’s easy to get lost.
I’m leaving New York because there are people out in the world doing great things, pursuing dreams, and seeing the world not as a resource to extract as much out of as possible, but as a home to turn into a better place for everyone to live in. Don’t get me wrong — I know that I’m generalizing, that there is plenty of good that happens in New York and plenty of money and power worshiping that happens outside it. But you are the company you keep, and if you surround yourself with people that value the things you want to value, it’s much easier to stay on the right path, rather than be distracted by something shiny.
Finally, and this is definitely not the most profound reason, but a very important one for me, I’m leaving New York because the winters are too cold and miserable. We just went through an entire week of sub-zero temperatures, in which I cursed every moment outside and resorted to staying inside a gloomy office all day until 8 p.m. when my work would pay for a cab home. Clearly, not good behavior for mental health. Feeling down and lethargic due to climate and weather has a clear impact on my work. 80% of workers surveyed in the UK say they’re less productive if there is snow. And while it seems the link between weather and productivity is not entirely clear (this study says bad weather actually increases productivity), I’m positive on one thing: I’m happier and more satisfied with work, life, and everything on sunny days. That in itself will be worth the move.
Am I making a mistake in leaving New York? Is this a case of “grass is always greener on the other side”? If you have a story to share on moving out of New York or have a suggestion on where to go next, shoot me a tweet at @andrewjiang.
