To Be an Offense, It Has to Be Personal
Differentiate to react properly
I was pissed.
I mean, kinda pissed, mostly disappointed. Somebody in my life whom I have tons of respect to repeatedly let me down. It was hard, because I look up to the person and I expect a lot of her. Second, the consequences of her actions/inactions had a sensible negative impact in my life.
So I was sad, pissed, disappointed and I was right.
Fortunately, I do have smart friends whom I talk to often . One of them, Zach, pointed this out to me:
You’re mixing up things and taking this personal. It was not about you, Paulo, but about that person slacking off, being inattentive and letting you down in general.
That got me thinking.
Ugh, that person’s actions did cause me harm, but I don’t need to get all emotional, because it wasn’t a personal offense. Even though it had bad consequences, it was not aimed to cause me harm, they’re were sourced from bad actions of someone who hasn’t foreseen those consequences.
Sure, she’s still got responsibilities over the shit she’s done, but I don’t need to get emotional over it.
Powerful insight to the future
If someone’s done something that caused harm to you, look at the source of their actions.
Were they intentional? Personally aimed to cause you harm ? If so, go all emotional and release the forces of hell over him or her. If not, stop arguing with the universe.
Go after them and let them know how they screwed you up with their bad behavior and what they can do about it. To make things better to you (if they still want your respect) and to not screw up in the future again, a.k.a., to become a better person.
